Petrov, Yelyena and Me

Petrov, Yelyena, and me
Lost, but happy, at sea
Petrov and Yelyena said to me
"Shouldn't we have something to eat?"

Well, I say
"There are plenty of fish in the sea"
But all they can see, is me

They say, "Any last requests?"
Biding my time, I say "Yes
I want to party, just we three
Lost, but happy at sea"

So we drank all night from the keg
I passed out, then awoke with one leg
I said, "Petrov, have you seen my leg?"
He said "No" and he went back to bed
But he looked suspiciously well fed

Three days later they were hungry again
They said, "Any last requests, again, my friend?"
I said, "Do you know any Rolling Stones?
You know, like you're at a rock concert going "More, more!"

"Ah, it was a hilarious hilarious moment in a very bleak bleak time of my life"

So we danced all night to the Rolling Stones
When I awoke they were chewing on bones
Yelena was supping blood from a cup
That's when I knew something was up

"Hey Petrov?"
"What?"
"What is that you're eating?"
"Nothing"
"It looks like a meat"
"Oh, this? It's um, one of those, um, fish"
"How come it looks so much like my arm?"
"It's an arm fish"
"What about the fingers?"
"Fish fingers"
"Well, you see, the thing is, my arm seems to haveabeen
Hacked off at the elbow last night
I was just wondering if you might have seen it"
"Oh, yeah, look at that, no arm over there
Oh, don't you hate it when that happens?
I don't know, um, you were very drunk last night
Perhaps you lost it? In a fair game of chance"
"Oh, you're probably right"
"Yeah, you know how it is when we're drunk"
"Yeah"
"'You say 'I'll bet my arm'"
"Oh"
"Just relax. Enjoy the sea, and have some more, fish"

Four months now lost at sea
My friends have almost finished me
Now they are using recipes

Tonight, we are having some "me goering"

"But wait, this 'You Goering' is absolutely delicious
You should come over here right away and try some
You really would be proud of yourself"
"How can I? You have eaten all of my leg"
"Ooh, someone obviously isn't getting any"

Late that night, while they were asleep
I swallowed some arsenic to poison my meat
I was very ill, but revenge is so sweet
Unlike the last meal my comrades would eat

"Yes, eat it all up
Not so sweet all of a sudden, hm?"

When I awoke, they were already dead
All that was left of me was my head
No, not dead, just a head
Lost, but happy, at sea
Lost, but lonely, at sea
Lost, but so lonely
At sea