This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
See, I can kinda recall a lil' ways back
Small, tryin' to ball, always been black
And my hair, I tried it all I even went flat
Had a lumpy curly top and all that crap, now
Just tryin' to be appreciated
Nappy headed brothers never had no ladies
And I hit the barber shop real quick
Had 'em give me lil' twist and it drove 'em crazy (crazy)
Then I couldn't get no job
'Cause corporate wouldn't hire no dreadlocks
Then I thought about my dogs from the block
Kinda understand why they chose to steal and rob
Was it the hair that got me this far
All these girls these cribs these cars?
I hate to say it but it seem so flawed
'Cause success didn't come till I cut it all off
Little girl with the press and curl
Age eight, I got a Jheri curl
Thirteen, and I got a relaxer
I was a source of so much laughter
At fifteen when it all broke off
Eighteen and went all natural
February, 2002
I went on and did what I had to do
Because it was time to change my life
To become the woman that I am inside
Ninety-seven dreadlocks all gone
I looked in the mirror for the first time and saw that
Hey (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within
Good hair means curls and waves (no)
Bad hair means you look like a slave (no)
At the turn of the century
It's time for us to redefine who we be
You can shave it off like a South African beauty
Or get in on lock like Bob Marley
You can rock it straight like Oprah Winfrey
If it's not what's on your head, it's what's underneath, and say
Hey (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within
Who cares if you don't like that?
With nothin' to lose, postin' with the wave cap
And the cops wanna harass 'cause I got waves
Ain't see nothin' like that in all my days
Man, you gotta change all these feelings
Steady judging one another by their appearance
Yes, India, I feel ya, girl
Now go ahead, talk to the rest of the world 'cause
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Oh
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
I am expressing my creativity
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Breast cancer and chemotherapy
Took away her crownin' glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy every day of her life, oh
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald-headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like, hey
Hey (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within
Hey (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within
Small, tryin' to ball, always been black
And my hair, I tried it all I even went flat
Had a lumpy curly top and all that crap, now
Just tryin' to be appreciated
Nappy headed brothers never had no ladies
And I hit the barber shop real quick
Had 'em give me lil' twist and it drove 'em crazy (crazy)
Then I couldn't get no job
'Cause corporate wouldn't hire no dreadlocks
Then I thought about my dogs from the block
Kinda understand why they chose to steal and rob
Was it the hair that got me this far
All these girls these cribs these cars?
I hate to say it but it seem so flawed
'Cause success didn't come till I cut it all off
Little girl with the press and curl
Age eight, I got a Jheri curl
Thirteen, and I got a relaxer
I was a source of so much laughter
At fifteen when it all broke off
Eighteen and went all natural
February, 2002
I went on and did what I had to do
Because it was time to change my life
To become the woman that I am inside
Ninety-seven dreadlocks all gone
I looked in the mirror for the first time and saw that
Hey (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within
Good hair means curls and waves (no)
Bad hair means you look like a slave (no)
At the turn of the century
It's time for us to redefine who we be
You can shave it off like a South African beauty
Or get in on lock like Bob Marley
You can rock it straight like Oprah Winfrey
If it's not what's on your head, it's what's underneath, and say
Hey (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within
Who cares if you don't like that?
With nothin' to lose, postin' with the wave cap
And the cops wanna harass 'cause I got waves
Ain't see nothin' like that in all my days
Man, you gotta change all these feelings
Steady judging one another by their appearance
Yes, India, I feel ya, girl
Now go ahead, talk to the rest of the world 'cause
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Oh
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
I am expressing my creativity
(Whoa, whoa, whoa)
Breast cancer and chemotherapy
Took away her crownin' glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy every day of her life, oh
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald-headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like, hey
Hey (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within
Hey (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations, no (hey)
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am the soul that lives within
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A good song, shes sayin im more than my looks,body,etc. Im the person underneath it all. we are all more than everything superficial.
A lot of people who listen to this song don't realize the importance of hair in African American society. It's usually black women at salons, every 2 weeks to get their hair done. Being African american, and having lots done to my hair, I know this. She realized, like me, that all you're doing is spending money and hours of your time on something that doesn't even matter.
I am not your expectations... I am a soul that lives within. I love this song.
India.Arie is an insparation! This song speaks the truth about everything. I mean, you aren't your hair, your skin, your clothes, your money or anything else. You are you and that's all that counts.
So sisters all around the world, from America to India from Kenya to Portugal let your hair down and smile.
Recently decided to go all natural for good. I've been relaxing and straightning my hair since age 10 and I'm done with it! I've wasted so many hours trying to be something i'm not. Stayed out of the rain, wasted so much money, endured so much pain. And it still looked bad.
this song's so cute and positive. I loove it.
I can't wait until my kinky hair grows out!
I agree with everyone else's POV but this song's also about her struggle with breast cancer. I mean if hair is seen as a symbol of beauty-those without hair shouldn't make them ugly. The song speaks for itself. I am not my hair. I am the soul that lives within. It's not about the superficial.
ok, first thing y'all need to know is that india NEVER had cancer! that part of the song was about melissa etheridge and her performance at the grammys (check it out on the internet!!!)
second, this is one of my favorite upbeat songs by india...she is my favorite singer in the whole world...i just wish she culd make a concert in portugal! damn
yeah, i too had problems with my hair, cuz it has long curls, but while still short its awfull!!! now i let it grow and i love it
I just love my hair!!! it's the name of this song! lol
peace y'all
i absolutely love the verse for melissa etheridge.
I recently watched Good Hair with Chris Rock, and I saw how so many black women feel pressure to get relaxers and perms to be accepted by people in the working world. I hate that natural "black hair" isn't just accepted. It isn't fair for black women to think that they have to make their hair look like ours to be accepted and professional. And this song expresses that same kind of thought. I encourage black women to go natural, and start a revolution. I for one, will accept you.