"Intimate Secretary" as written by and Jack White Brendan Benson....
I've got a rabbit, it likes to hop
I've got a girl and she likes to shop
The other foot looks like it won't drop
I had an uncle and he got shot

Is this greeting the type that's meant for me?
Are you part of this kakistocracy?

This ringing in my ears won't stop
I've got a red Japanese tea-pot
I've got a pen but I lost the top
I've got so many things you haven't got

This fellow's craft is just not for sharing
He's not an intimate secretary!

I've got a rabbit it likes to hop
I've got a girl and she likes to shop
The other foot looks like it won't drop
I had an uncle but he got shot

Then on rubble of scummest malarchy
Down with luck we'll see Ecclesiarchy
Our fellow's craft is just not for sharing
He's not an intimate secretary!

The Ex-? Inspector Inquisitor
The Demockery lust streets master
Are you part of this kakistocracy?
Is this greeting the type that's meant for me?


Lyrics submitted by Zerovermars

"Intimate Secretary" as written by Jack White

Lyrics © BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC

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Intimate Secretary song meanings
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27 Comments

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  • +1
    General Comment"are you part of this Kakistocracy?"
    haha brilliance.
    this is a super catchy song!
    jack white's voice sounds so unique in this song. more unique than i've ever heard it.
    kingkillon May 03, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentAs kakistocracy is a system of governing where the least able have power as opposed to - and for example - a democracy where those who have been selected by the people have power.
    michaelwoodon June 20, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentJack white fucking rocks
    brave288on March 21, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentA mini-glossary for quick reference, pulled from various sources on the web:

    duolocracy: n. government by slaves.
    ecclesiarchy: n. government by clerics.
    kakistocracy: n. government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.
    crunksyon January 20, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General Commentno one else thought that jack's singing sounded like geddy lee?
    q78on June 18, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Commenter....have you heard aluminum? broken boy soldiers? blue orchid?
    stripesfanon May 18, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentoohh I LOVE these guys, and this song!
    but i think it's malarkey, not malarchy..?
    cause I looked it up, and to my surprise, malarchy isn't a word (I thought it was..?) and yeah that last verse is pretty hard to understand

    haha "i've got so many things you haven't got" I like taht
    lulabelleon May 25, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWhen you realize what an Intimiate Secretary is the song starts to make more sense, and you understand benson and white are representing two different perspectives and its sort of a dialougue between the two of them. go ahead and google this phrase "intimate secretary" -raconteurs
    favianon August 03, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentwhats with the rabbit?
    neverheardofhimon August 15, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI thought it was Khakistocracy, like the pants...

    And googling 'Intimate Secretary' just gives pages of links about this song ;)
    gandalfbmgon September 12, 2006   Link

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