This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Swirl in her stomach, it's 10:39.
Mind all grafittied, she knows it this time.
Not like the other times, he drops the phone.
Locked in her petrified, womb all alone.
Take back, everything that we did.
Save this, child from the life I lead.
Now she feels it inside,
Dreams and nightmares collide.
She feels alive now,
warm inside now,
with a life in her hands.
Pray for the starlight,
lost to heaven,
and is god so blind,
he can't see all the madness?
Scream murder to the mattress.
Why she cried, did he decide, to stay and not leave?
A sucking sickness, a child on TV.
Would he be here when she's ghostly and fey?
Shame beats her breast, to the bathroom tile a mile away.
Take back, sentence all dreams to die.
Her plans, ducks in a sniper's fire.
Boiling blood cells collide.
She cries infanticide.
She feels alive now,
warm inside now,
with a life in her hands.
Pray for the starlight,
lost to heaven,
and is god so blind,
he can't see all the madness?
Scream murder to the mattress.
This fate that a mother decides,
this violent mercy.
Forgive me my delicate child.
May god speed you to grace,
you'll never see my face.
God's will is good,
what could you know,
your still born dreams,
dissolve as you go.
Take this soul of the ancients,
your life's work is done here.
Speed of light, leave me here.
She drops, suddenly to the floor,
Just before god reconsiders and strikes.
Now she feels it inside.
She cries infanticide.
She feels alive now,
warm inside now,
with a life in her hands.
Pray for the starlight,
lost to heaven,
and if god's so blind,
he can't see all the madness,
scream murder to the mattress.
Mind all grafittied, she knows it this time.
Not like the other times, he drops the phone.
Locked in her petrified, womb all alone.
Take back, everything that we did.
Save this, child from the life I lead.
Now she feels it inside,
Dreams and nightmares collide.
She feels alive now,
warm inside now,
with a life in her hands.
Pray for the starlight,
lost to heaven,
and is god so blind,
he can't see all the madness?
Scream murder to the mattress.
Why she cried, did he decide, to stay and not leave?
A sucking sickness, a child on TV.
Would he be here when she's ghostly and fey?
Shame beats her breast, to the bathroom tile a mile away.
Take back, sentence all dreams to die.
Her plans, ducks in a sniper's fire.
Boiling blood cells collide.
She cries infanticide.
She feels alive now,
warm inside now,
with a life in her hands.
Pray for the starlight,
lost to heaven,
and is god so blind,
he can't see all the madness?
Scream murder to the mattress.
This fate that a mother decides,
this violent mercy.
Forgive me my delicate child.
May god speed you to grace,
you'll never see my face.
God's will is good,
what could you know,
your still born dreams,
dissolve as you go.
Take this soul of the ancients,
your life's work is done here.
Speed of light, leave me here.
She drops, suddenly to the floor,
Just before god reconsiders and strikes.
Now she feels it inside.
She cries infanticide.
She feels alive now,
warm inside now,
with a life in her hands.
Pray for the starlight,
lost to heaven,
and if god's so blind,
he can't see all the madness,
scream murder to the mattress.
Lyrics submitted by _In_Joy_And_Sorrow_
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sweet lyrics the smashup are amazing =]