Well he was smilin' like a vulture when he rolled up the horticulture
Ignited it and said "I hope the vapors don't insult ya"
What I replied denied, but he mixin' weed and hop
His head was noddin' up and down like he agreed a lot
Bored, said "we need a plot", I comply "let's leave this spot"
Hopped in the Granada, he's impressed by the beat I got
His name is "hay-zoos", but his pimp name is jesus
Slapped a ho to pieces with his plastic prosthesis
"Nigga, don't you know that I'm yo daddy" said he
This is true plus he schooled me for my macin' degree
"Never plea, try not to flee, make niggas pee when you stick around"
This man my momma had found taught me to put it down
I press the gas to the ground to show that I'm a hound
Make sure the gear rubber sound is heard throughout the town

Thirty years ago jesus could pull a ho quick,
But now he fifty and his belly hang lower than his dick
Philosophy that he spit, stuck in my memory chips
And now he's puttin' in a disk of gladys night an the pips
And then that shit starts to skip, he said "somebody musta scratched it"
Put the forty to his lips and pour the contents down the hatchet

Now since my adolescence 'cause of his pimp lessons
Smack my women in the dentals, just for asking silly questions
Relationship reduction to either rock the box or suction
Ain't got no close patnas, socially I can't function
From the pen he would scribe, on how to survive
"Don't be microsoft, be macintosh with a hard drive"
Used to tell me all the time to keep a bitch broke
Did I mention that my momma was his number one ho
Clunked the forty on the floor and placed his palm on the dash
And wheezed out, "Come on man, make this motherfucker mash"
Ain't gonna mash to fast, 'cause my tags ain't right
Me and jesus the pimp in the '79 Granada last night

Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now
Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now

City lights from far away can make you drop yo' jaw
Sparkling like sequins on a transvestite at mardi gras
There's beauty in the cracks of the cement
When I was five I'd hop over them wherever we went
To prevent, whatever it was that would break my mommas back
Little did I know that it would roll up in a Cadillac
And matter fact, she couldn't see him like a cataract
And on the track, she went from beautiful to battle ax
And back at home, she would cry into her pillow
Vomit in the commode, I was six years old
I would crawl into her lap and we would hug and hold
Never knew how she was sufferin' from my folded clothes
She asked me what I thought of jesus when he broke off some bread
I said "he missin' an arm and he seem like a pee-pee head"
She said "Don't cuss", and my teeth to go brush
And get ready for bed, and the toilet to flush
With tears in momma's eyes I was her everything
Before she went out on a stroll she'd tuck me into bed and sing

You're just too beautiful for words
You're just too beautiful for words
You're just too beautiful for words
You're just too beautiful for words

I see the read and white lights as the ambulance flies
Reminds me of midnight in a dope fiends eyes
And my nine year old self as paramedic's leave, left to ball my eyes on a neighbor's sleeve
To give illustrations that are clear and clean, I'll take you two hours back before this scene
Early in the mornin' when the sun starts to creep
When birds start to chirp and crack heads go to sleep
Mom was comin' in, i hear her keys go clink
Wearin' nothin' but pumps, bikini and fake mink
Even though she served for 50 dollars a pop
Hardly had enough for rent after jesus re-copped
That day the landlady got her rent before he got his knot
Slammed mommas head against the front bolt lock
Then the pimp with one arm done harm
Reached back and plowed into her head like a farm
Never saw the act, locked in the back I was cussin'
Heard the blap blap of twenty head crack percussion
And body blows, her body froze from low blows to the spine
I was hysterically cryin', all she could do was whine
She didn't even have the strength to say I love you Boo
But I said it to her and she knew that I knew
She was dead by the time the ambulance got on the case
But I never will forget the plastic hand stuck in her face

Stopped at the intersection to ask jesus 'bout direction
"'S go to Frisco," I got very friendly vocal inflections
Mob a left at Macarther to continue in flight
Me and jesus the pimp in the '79 Granada last night

Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now
Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now

The rain dropped giant pearls, God was pissin' on the world
Or that old man who was snorin' rolled on over and hurled
My temperature gauge read cold and blistery
Spinning wheels made a piece of asphalt history
This was jesus debut out the penitentiary
Fifteen years, but it seemed like a century
See he went in the pen for some other murder drama
Twelve years old I wrote him quote I want to be a pimp comma
You accidentally killed my mom, no playa hation points
You know how bitchas act, shit, exclamation point

At first it was a set of moves, then it was the truth
His letters were the only friend I had as a youth
But his lop sided game, see was really counterfeit
So my little son dominic thinks that I'm a dick
'Cause I was runnin' round like a little baby jesus
To me women had to be saints, ho's or skeezers
And I don't think that this goin' end 'til we make revolution
But who gonna make this shit, if we worship prostitution
Ain't no women fin to die for the same old conclusion
Put they life on the line so some other pimp can use 'em

Pulled into the vacant lot, road to recovery
Pulled out my pistol as we brushed against the shrubbery
Jesus said, "Why the hell you pointin' a gat"
So I pulled a piece of game I could use out the hat
I said, "This trip is over. we ain't fin to ride on
This is for my mental and my mother that I cried on
Microsoft motherfuckers let bygones be bygones,
But since I'm macintosh, I'm gonna double click yo' icon"
He struggled for life, then gave up the fight
Me and jesus the pimp in the '79 Granada last night

Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now
Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now

And I still remember momma

You're just too beautiful for words
You're just too beautiful for words
You're just too beautiful for words
You're just too beautiful for words

Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now
Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now

Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now
Oakland, do you wanna ride
I can't hear ya, Oakland do you want me right now


Lyrics submitted by robburns

Me And Jesus The Pimp In A '79 Granada Last Night song meanings
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5 Comments

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  • 0
    General CommentHow has no one commented this yet? This is one of my favorite Coup songs and one of my favorite rap songs period. It's pure, complex, dark, meaningful, and elegantly brutal. The problems Boots has with the social structure of Oakland and the glorification of prostitution are bold without being blunt, and every line is its own form of dark beauty. Love this song.
    worsethansexon August 22, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI agree WTS!!!

    I love thi song too... nd seeing as i dont like rap as much as i used to.. this song is very lucky to be in my collection... probably my fave rap song.

    :D
    Stojon September 22, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentCrazy record...He's able to talk about being influenced by the man in so many ways, acting liking him, talking like him, making actions like him, and how it angers him.

    The way the story is told makes this song itself great, from the past to the present in a 3rd person perspective, really creative track.
    MF Smokeon May 14, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentCan't hear this one without crying
    ElSon October 24, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment"She asked me what I thought of jesus when he broke off some bread
    I said "he missin' an arm and he seem like a pee-pee head"
    She said "Don't cuss", and my teeth to go brush
    And get ready for bed, and the toilet to flush."

    Best lyrics ever

    ...and what does the oakland part mean???
    RHCPfan37on January 19, 2010   Link

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