Make Out Club

if I recall correctly
it was the middle of spring
walkin with my boys
contiplating what summer will bring
we started talkin about girls
and it was the funniest thing
as I started to remember some of the funniest things

see there was ashley,
she caught my eye the very second that she passed me
I kissed her once
then she started to harass me
she called all night long
I had to buy a brand new phone

And let me see
there was Melanie
to have a mouth like that should be a felony
wouldn't believe half the shit that she was tellin me
I mean dirty vocab
she used to talk like she was drunk

and after that was tiffany
the one with the cute cousin
are you kiddin' me?
she had a man
but that didn't mean shit to me
he tried to catch us all the time
but I was just too god damn smooth

and I can't forget to mention Carrie
but that situation quickly got scary
'cause after 2 dates she was like lets get married
can you believe that shit?
I had to pack my bags and move!

they say I gotta change my evil ways
and I'm workin hard at it every day but
No matter what i do
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin not to
if love is just a game that people play
and practice make perfect is what they say but
no matter what I do
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin not to

I'll always remember Monica
the jewish chick
she'd always give me gifts for Chanukkah
to met her folks she'd try and make me rock a yarmulke
but she looked so damn good
she almost made my ass convert

and after that there was Lisa
she had a twin sister, Teresa
I bumped into them at Cam's gettin pizza
the greatest night of my life
schleps to rock that kill to birds

and there was Erica
she had the stankest breath in North America,
I tryed to slip her tic tacs
but they were scared of her
and when we made out
I always had to plug my nose

And I suppose your know the sister
shoot, I swear by hand and God
I only kissed her
I gotta foot fetish
but she got a lot of blisters
I mean hammer time feet
you think she had walked from Boca Raton

they say I gotta change my evil ways
and I'm workin hard at it every day but
No matter what I do
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin not to
if love is just a game that people play
and practice make perfect is what they say but
no matter what I do
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin not to

Hey Matt,
remember Kathryn?
she talked so much
I used to make her bring me asprin
bla, bla bla bla
I'm doin fine thanks for askin
I even tried to make a muzzle
but her mouth would just not quit

Oh Shit
remember Shauna
I hate to bring her up again
I didn't want her
that girl I talked about
in "that girls a dog" song
yea the poster girl for Paxil
almost made me lose my grip

and oh shit
then there was Krystal
the meth head
she used to sniff like a fist full
one time she chased me down the street with a pistol
she tried to say I took her stash
she bugged out and tried to kill my ass

and at last we got Kimmy
she went abroad
came back
and broke up with me
and so I ripped up all the letters that she sent me
I cried for like 3 days
then it was back to my evil ways

they say I gotta change my evil ways
and I'm workin hard at it every day but
No matter what I do
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin not to
if love is just a game that people play
and practice make perfect is what they say but
no matter what I do
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin not to

(travis does a freestyle scat boxing)

they say I gotta change my evil ways
and I'm workin hard at it every day but
No matter what I do
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin not to
if love is just a game that people play
and practice make perfect is what they say but
no matter what I do
I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm tryin not to