Hey! Do you know what you are?
You're an asshole! An ASSHOLE!

Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole

I said you are an asshole

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to The Grape,
Just to give it a try
And Dagmar
Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I've ever seen in my life
Was his name...
One Two Three Four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane
Let's talk about Leather
And so you kissed a little sailor
Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:
Who had just blew in from Spain
Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
The tale of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine
Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
Then on Tuesday night, Ceasar's back in town
In a way you can't explain
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With Kona.
And so you worked the wall with Michael
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain
Volcanic Hell
But you came back on Sunday for the gong show
Next Thursday, teen town's finest...
But you forgot what I was sayin'
'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
Yes, yes
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole

Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest
'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an asshole

You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yourself girl
It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yourself girl
It's winkin' at you
Don't fool yourself girl
It's blinkin' at you
That's why I say
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yorr poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up your poop chute
Fist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up your poop chute
Wrist-watch; Crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up your poop chute
Pud!

Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up your poop chute
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up your poop chute
(etc., repeats)




Lyrics submitted by mtolsky

Broken Hearts Are for Assholes song meanings
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6 Comments

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  • +1
    General CommentY'know I'm not positive.......... but I think the last part is about doin a chick in the butt. I could be wrong.......... (ahem)
    boosh_headsockon December 29, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHilarious.
    gweepson August 15, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentuse it as my ring tone.... and as the previous poster said this song is HI-LA-RIOUS, Zappa was a brilliant composer/song writer.
    roeibooton November 08, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI don't care how many times/years you've listened to this song, you still have to chuckle every damn time you hear it!! I love it!! As far as the meaning of this song... If you can't figure it out by yourself... well, you're an Asshole too!!
    FreezeSukkaon July 14, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis is redundant but this song is freaking hilarious. Frank Zappa=Awesomeness
    LostCauseLoseron August 20, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThere will never be another master of this type of music
    undertaker6969on October 18, 2009   Link

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