"Hate Me" as written by and Justin Furstenfeld....
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They're crawling like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride,
A nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me
Just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for three whole months,
It's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart
Is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you
For holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself,
You were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions
On things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself
When it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away
That I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart
To leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart, I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street
For every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy,
I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying,
And I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling,
"make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back
And shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered,
"How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
For you
For you
For you


Lyrics submitted by anarchysomething44, edited by here4evr1, intrinsick, samashton

"Hate Me" as written by Justin Furstenfeld

Lyrics © BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC

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Hate Me song meanings
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429 Comments

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  • +11
    General CommentReally guys? This is obviously the only song you've heard from this band because you don't know anything about Justin Furstenfeld (lead singer/Song Writer). He suffers from bipolar disorder and at the time had a drug addiction. His wife divorced him and he's having a custody battle over his daughter, but that was after he wrote this song (the album "Any Man in America" tells that story). His life is shit so he overdoses, gets drunk, and almost kills himself; his mother knows all of this, but still continues to love and care for him. Justin however, doesn't think he deserves that and wants his mom to hate him for all that he's done.

    ~This isn't an interpretation, this is the actually meaning of the song.
    tmv419on February 18, 2012   Link
  • +7
    General CommentHey guys. Whats up? I just wanted to put in my 2 cents to this awesome song. I dont know about you all, but the recording of the song that I have starts with a recording of a phone call from someone's (lead singer?) mother. Essentially the mother is calling to make sure the son is alright and to tell him that she loves him.

    I think the song is in contrast to the loving care that the mother gives him. He is telling his mother that she should hate him because of what he has done to her, but in spite of that she still cares about him.
    Lelandroson February 24, 2006   Link
  • +5
    General CommentI don't think its about alcoholism (he says he has overcome his addiction by this point) or breaking up, altho i think those are part of it. I think its about being tied up in a person. She and He have broken up some time ago, but he still carries a hope, really -- an obsession with the idea that she might one day love him again. So he waits by the phone, stops going out, stops talking to everyone, stops EXISTING except for her. This song is him realizing that every little scrap of attention she gives him just perpetuates that dead hope, and that the only way for him to get over her is to cut ties completely. And not only does this obsession, infatuation hurt him -- it hurts her as well. She still cares about him, but doesnt love him. ANd he tries to convince himself that he can just be friends with her, but knows he cant.

    "I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head" --- he cant think of her at all becuase even the slightest thought gives him a desperate hope of something that will never come.

    "Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you"
    basically -- he's telling her,
    "move on, you stay becuase you think im not ok, but im not ok becuase you stay and unknowingly give me false hope"

    Thats what i think its about... Hope and how it can kill you... and how to get rid of it. i can totally relate to this song, and i have learned through many hard experiences that the only true way to get over someone is to totally cut ties. that doesnt mean thta tyou wont one day meet again -- but to stay now will kill you.
    egiapharason February 18, 2006   Link
  • +5
    General Commentany one who thinks this song is about a break up is a f***ing idiot... the song is about how his mom helped him through an addiction and he wishes he could have done more to show the he appreciated what she did for him before she died... "Mother: "Hi Justin! This is your mother it is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication. You know I love ya. Take care honey, I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye Bye!"... this part of the song is the last thing he has of his mother... the night before they get together for lunch she feels nervouse because he is under alot of pressure to get better and make everything right with himself and before he can call her back or she can call again "and will you never call again?" she dies and he never gets the chance to show that he really cares about how she helped him and he wishes he could have done more to show his appreciation "Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you"
    stlnslon August 21, 2009   Link
  • +4
    My InterpretationAs the mother of a guy who has been struggling with being Bipolar the majority of his life. This song means everything to me. I have watched my son try to end his life during a depressive phase, sat in the hospital holding his hand while he was on life support. I have listened to his guilt ridden apologies to me for hurting me. I have watched his manic phases where he is on top of the world. My son is my best friend and there is nothing that is much harder than to see someone in such a dark place and you cannot do a fucking thing about it. I expected to bury my son before he turned 18. He is 23 now. He still struggles on. He is singing this song to me.
    Gelfieon November 13, 2010   Link
  • +2
    General CommentI'm 18 & pregnant. I heard this song for the first time just a few minutes ago, & the first thing I thought about was my baby's father. There were times we had a wonderful relationship. He had a bad coke addiction & actually did thank me when he cleaned up because he said I had helped him a lot. However, he left me shortly after I became pregnant. We now live far apart (him in Texas, me in Georgia). I've realized he has too many personal demons & no matter how hard I try to help him, I can't change him. I've had to train myself not to love him anymore.

    This song sounds exactly like a letter I can picture him writing to me. The song breaks my heart, but it's wonderful.
    between colorson February 24, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Commenthe wants her to hate him because he's not good enough, he can't be good enough, and he just wants to give everything up in his life and push her away to make her happy.
    disasterfaerie22on March 01, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Commenti dont think these guys really reallize the affect ther music has on people. wether its about the mother or not, it had a hole different meaning for me, that noone could REALLY understand. About a week before i herd this song for the first time, my boyfriend moved to california for art school. This song COMPLEETLY discribes our relationship...it was good for the longest time...it was all we could do to sign out of messenger at the end of the day to go to sleep...we both fell inlove with eachother knowing EXACTLY how it would end...painful. Every single word of this song in some way is related to our relationship...for example, the words hate me: he asked me "how can i leave you like this?' and i said 'hate me, find some reasong to hate me, hate me b/c i wont move with you...its good for you, this is wut you want, this is wut you need...' i thot it was so cool that we actualy lived a song before we herd it good times
    enough from me..
    -Lyzz
    lyzzroxon March 08, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThe guy in this song used to be an addict (I've been sober now for three whole months). He is now sober, thanks to the help of his girlfriend (It's one accomplishment that you helped me with). Now that he can see a bit more clearly, he is starting to think that he is not good enough for her. He loves her dearly, so much in fact, that he wants her to find somebody who is good enough for her (hate me so you can finnaly see what's good for you). He also realizes the destruction and obsticles that he has caused in her life (an ounce of peace is all I want for you) She also loves him, and does not want to let go. She realizes that he loces her and also realizes how much pain he has called her (and then she whispered how can you do this to me). He wants her to hate him because then it will be easier for both of them to move on (will you never call again).
    This is an amazing lyrical song and needs to be recognized by more people. It also has a great melody to it. i especially love the violin (or whatever it is) that comes in near the end. very touching.
    stop existingon March 21, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentIt's surely a credit to the band, and Justin as the writer, that so many people can find so many things to identify with in Blue October's music. The ability to convey pure emotion beyond just the lyrics allows anyone to connect with the feeling of the song, and perhaps lose sight of what is really a personal struggle for Justin.

    /I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
    They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
    Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
    Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home/
    I think this is about memories of all the things he's done to hurt the woman in the song. No matter how great some of his memories are of times with her any thought eventually leads to the things he did wrong, lies told and his sort of double life during his addiction. “Make a porno feel like home” is a reference to a fake or hollow version of what should be an incredibly emotional scene, his memories seem perverse because of the lies behind them.

    /There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain/
    This is doubt, pure and simple doubt over everything to do with her.

    /An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
    And will you never say you that love me just to put in my face?
    And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space/
    A continuation of doubt, except about specifics. People who are looking for something to identify with in this song without forgetting that it is ultimately written for the author and not them should take the lesson of “never say that you love me just to put it in my face.” This is possibly the most hurtful thing someone could do to someone they love, and it happens all the time. To feel loved is to feel blessed, and to have that blessing thrown in your face, to know that it's caused the person you love incredible pain is unbearable. It's an emotional lesson that doesn't distort any specific events that are key to the song.

    /Hate me today
    Hate me tomorrow
    Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you/
    Haunting

    /I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
    The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
    And in a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
    While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight/
    It's impossible to say without actually asking the author what the one thing is. It's possible it's addiction in general. For reference though the band was heavily into drugs from their own words. Justin very definitely used cocaine. I assume heroin from a reference to 'not putting things in my veins' but then that's not to say it couldn't have been something else, it's just the most common. I doubt it's alcoholism, as it's never discussed by the band that I've seen. I don't doubt it's possible that he drank as well, but there's nothing I've seen which suggests that drinking was a major problem, at least compared to his drug use. It seems disrespectful to the struggle to suggest 'merely' alcoholism. (I know the struggle of both well, and I don't mean to make light of alcoholism, but everyone that says “I know what he's feeling exactly because I have experience with alcoholism” doesn't have any clue what he's feeling.)

    /You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate/
    Not sure who's hate it is, but probably his own for himself. Those are what suicidal thoughts are.

    /You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
    So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
    And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind/
    It's so embarrassing to be at one's worst in front of the people that care enough save your life. It feels like such a disappointment knowing that they've always believed the best and you can't convince yourself that they're right. It's enough to save your life, but it's also enough to make you want to never have to face it again.

    /Hate me today
    Hate me tomorrow
    Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

    Hate me in ways
    Yeah ways hard to swallow
    Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you/
    This whole song is a premise for why it's best for her to leave, to hate him. It's his request, what he feels is the only thing he can give her which is equal to what she's given him, her freedom from all the pain.

    /And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
    Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made/
    Just the feelings of leaving, knowing it's your own damn fault.

    /And like a baby boy I never was a man/
    A great line for everyone that's always known they were just so mature. In moments where maturity is formed old feelings of maturity feel like little more than being a baby.

    /Until I saw your blue eyes bright and I held your face in my hand
    And then fell down yelling “make it go away!”
    Just make a smile come back and shine just like is used to be
    And then she whispered “how can you do this to me?”/
    One of those moments of realization of just what maturity is. The realization of knowing that we've been nothing, that'd he'd been the cause of so much pain. Everyone should reevaluate just how mature they are if they've never been faced with the feeling that there is someone in the world that you realize you care about way more than yourself.

    /Hate me today
    Hate me tomorrow
    Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

    Hate me in ways
    Yeah ways hard to swallow
    Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you/

    I haven't been to the depths of where I believe Justin has been. I often question if I'll ever hit rock bottom, and sometimes I think I'm trying to. Sometimes I think life must be there on the ocean floor. I feel like there answers that only lie in things getting worse. Other times though I realize that there's something above the surface that is better. Songs like this have helped me realize that people who have been down to the bottom have chosen fresh air and it's got the answers they were looking for. This is an incredible song, and for people to identify with it is a tribute to the band, but identify with lessons learned, and not that the lyrics are your situation. They don't need to be, he's not speaking to you he's learning and expressing himself. Do the same and hopefully you'll find yourself in the place it seems Justin is now.

    “My mom called the other day,” he tells me. “She’s just like, ‘How you doing?’ And it was really good to tell her for once, ‘I’m doing really fucking good.’ There’s a point in life that I was always dreaming of, and it’s this point: Getting my shit together, and concentrating on this business and this band, and lay off the drugs…for Christ’s sake. I found out that when I did that, all of a sudden I realized that most of my depression stemmed from that. It’s not like, ‘I’m so crazy.’ Lay off the coke, dude. Come on. It’s simple. And then all of a sudden you’re four months, five months, six months clean and you see the light at the end of the tunnel and you’re just like, ‘So that was the problem the whole time? Holy shit.’ I still get depressed and I still hear things when I get stressed that aren’t there, but that’s something that I’ve always had since I was a kid, and now I can balance it. I’m not putting things in my veins or in my nose.”
    spartacus51on March 26, 2006   Link

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