I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
V1
I hold my tears till im underwater
So yall don’t never see me cryin
Holdin my breath till I can resurface
But I can feel myself dyin
Too long without oxygen in my lungs
Maybe im tired
Maybe its time for me to breathe easy
But I could never let you see me
Give in to bein underfire
No matter how short I breathe I get
Cause to let it show is to let you know
At times how weak I really get
And im trying to be strong for the both of us
Hold on for the both of us
But how long can I hold by breathe
For the both of us
Its too much on my shoulders here
And I just cant cope with it
Knowin deaths round the corner
And im standin so close to him
Im supposed to show no emotion
But its getting harder to focus
Cause the reality of my life here
Is that I have no control of it
Feel the need to come up for air
But with you there I must hold it
And yeah I know how close I come everyday
But I could never let you know it
Its too much for you to feel my pain
So I send you all smiles
Holdin my breathe telling you its alright
But the truth is im drownin
Chorus
Sample is saying “holdin my breath for you”
“so you never see me crying”
v2
this is so close to bein over
but we aint left here yet
and its been rainin the whole time
but I managed to never get wet
while those around me soaked
from the moment the first convoy left
but who knows cause the way things goin
any day now I could be next
and I aint trying to see yall back home
with my problems on your chest
so the truth evolves into what I think you need to hear
just to relax
so for you im always at my best
I continue to see clearly
But I could never lie to myself
And the truth is im more than a little worried
But that part of my heart
Stays closed when im on the phone with my family
How can I expect them to handle something
Im havin a hard time handling
And as strong as I may be
Can carry this weight forever
Cause im fallin apart underneath it
Trying to piece myself back together
Hopin for the best
But at times the worst seems to get the better of me
So its everything I got not to let you see
Whats really troubling me
Can feel my lungs under pressure
And they are beggin me to breathe
But I cant, not with you standin there
So I hold my breath till you leave.
I hold my tears till im underwater
So yall don’t never see me cryin
Holdin my breath till I can resurface
But I can feel myself dyin
Too long without oxygen in my lungs
Maybe im tired
Maybe its time for me to breathe easy
But I could never let you see me
Give in to bein underfire
No matter how short I breathe I get
Cause to let it show is to let you know
At times how weak I really get
And im trying to be strong for the both of us
Hold on for the both of us
But how long can I hold by breathe
For the both of us
Its too much on my shoulders here
And I just cant cope with it
Knowin deaths round the corner
And im standin so close to him
Im supposed to show no emotion
But its getting harder to focus
Cause the reality of my life here
Is that I have no control of it
Feel the need to come up for air
But with you there I must hold it
And yeah I know how close I come everyday
But I could never let you know it
Its too much for you to feel my pain
So I send you all smiles
Holdin my breathe telling you its alright
But the truth is im drownin
Chorus
Sample is saying “holdin my breath for you”
“so you never see me crying”
v2
this is so close to bein over
but we aint left here yet
and its been rainin the whole time
but I managed to never get wet
while those around me soaked
from the moment the first convoy left
but who knows cause the way things goin
any day now I could be next
and I aint trying to see yall back home
with my problems on your chest
so the truth evolves into what I think you need to hear
just to relax
so for you im always at my best
I continue to see clearly
But I could never lie to myself
And the truth is im more than a little worried
But that part of my heart
Stays closed when im on the phone with my family
How can I expect them to handle something
Im havin a hard time handling
And as strong as I may be
Can carry this weight forever
Cause im fallin apart underneath it
Trying to piece myself back together
Hopin for the best
But at times the worst seems to get the better of me
So its everything I got not to let you see
Whats really troubling me
Can feel my lungs under pressure
And they are beggin me to breathe
But I cant, not with you standin there
So I hold my breath till you leave.
Lyrics submitted by phillyt23
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This song was originally written by a guy called Peter Gutteridge. He was one of the founders of the "Dunedin Sound" a musical scene in the south of New Zealand in the early 80s. From there it was covered by "The Clean" one of the early bands of that scene (he had originally been a member of in it's early days, writing a couple of their best early songs). The Dunedin sound, and the Clean became popular on american college radio in the mid to late 80s. I guess Yo La Tengo heard that version.
Great version of a great song,
Just A Little Lovin'
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“I overthink and have trouble sleepin’ / All purpose gone and don’t have a reason / And there’s no doctor to stop this bleedin’ / So I left home and jumped in the deep end,” Ed Sheeran sings in verse one. He continues by adding that this person is feeling the weight of having disappointed his father and doesn’t have any friends to rely on in this difficult moment. In the second verse, Ed sings about the role of grief in his friend’s plight and his dwindling faith in prayer. “Saturday night is givin’ me a reason to rely on the strobe lights / The lifeline of a promise in a shot glass, and I’ll take that / If you’re givin’ out love from a plastic bag,” Ed sings on the chorus, as his friend turns to new vices in hopes of feeling better.
This is straight up heart breaking.