Please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman
From that moment, you'll be out of place and under-dressed
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and . . .

Please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman
From that moment, you'll be out of place and under-dressed
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and . . .

When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes, whoa-oh
Everything goes according to plan

I'm the new cancer
Never looked better, you can't stand it
Because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer
Never looked better and you can't stand it

Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain and
I bet you just can't keep up with (keep up!) these fashionistas and
Tonight, tonight, you are, you are a whispering campaign
I bet to them, your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh . . .
Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva"
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box
On the table, they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin

I'm the new cancer
Never looked better, you can't stand it
Because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer
Never looked better and you can't stand it

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it

And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch

And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch

And I know, and I know
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the PUNCH!


Lyrics submitted by ADimeADexter


There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet song meanings
Add your thoughts

430 Comments

sort form View by:
  • +6
    General Comment"I bet to them, your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like sh--"

    he doesn't actually SAY shit there in the song. does anybody else feel the urge to say "sheep" because it rhymes with cheap? Sheep would actually make sense as well; people who go with the flow, follow the trends, do what everyone else does can be called "sheep." I'm wondering if maybe he just said "sh--" so it could go either way.

    If so.... p!atd is too freaking clever for its own good.
    itwaslike_musicon October 07, 2005   Link
  • +6
    General CommentThe tables are numbered so he knows where the cigarettes with nitroglycerin, so that he can poison her. (He's the new Cancer), meaning that he is a fatal disease to her, he is going to kill her.
    LauraMarsAttackson December 28, 2011   Link
  • +2
    General CommentI think I get the "Cancer" means.

    It mentions cigarettes, which cause lung cancer. Cigarettes are addictive. Therefore, I think he's saying that he's popular and people are "addicted to him" now, so to speak.

    Complete guess. I might be reading too much into it.
    Zymoticon September 28, 2005   Link
  • +2
    General Commenti love the sheep theory. if that was what they were thinking then once again their intelligence has floored me.
    littleenigmaon October 09, 2005   Link
  • +2
    General CommentPeople who are moaning about the title length. There is a reason for the long title.
    "Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box at your table
    They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin"
    He put the cigarettes on her table, not necessarily to kill her but so that he can make her look like an idiot when she lights one and it blows up in her face. But of course he personally didn't put them on the table. The 'waiter' or someone put them there ... Thats why it's called "There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet"
    Well thats what I think anyway ...
    It all figures =D
    StarxHanoon October 24, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Commentthe title of the song makes me think about how tables at restaurants are numbered.
    awsugarcomeonon September 28, 2005   Link
  • +1
    General CommentWhat Aladin song is everyone talking about?
    Carrie-Leighon October 13, 2005   Link
  • +1
    General Commentsurreptitious: adj. stealthy...

    I'm lazy right now, don't feel like reading all the 15 pages... so I'll think about the meaning later.

    But I like the beginning, when it goes
    "Please leave all overcoats, canes, and top hats with the doorman
    From that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed
    I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it"
    Really neat.


    *ducks in*
    Do you people realize the reason for the 15 pages? Is this a single? No. So why in the world would it have 15 pages of comments? OH, that's right, because some people like to waste page space and other people's reading time by posting about things having nothing to do with the song! Sure, you have rights to post whatever you want about the song and band, but there's a thing called courtesy. You've proved your rights, now please have some consideration for others. Who really wants to read through pages of that? Not me. We're all members on a song meaning site. Sometimes I think people forget that. Please remember that, and respect that we all should be here for good reasons.

    *cough I was going to say something about maybe music should just be music and if a band exists they don't need to choose a genre for themselves, and just because they don't sound like the music you like (called "punk"), they aren't "punk"? Hey, right now, because I want to, I'm going to be gangsta. Yeah, you heard me, I'm gangsta. Why? Because I say I am. Come on, now, take my word for it, I am not gangsta. So just because I say I'm something, does that mean I have to be it? So, if someone else said I was gangsta, does that make it true? No. See, even if a whole bunch of people call Panic "punk", doesn't mean they are, doesn't mean they think they are, and doesn't mean they're trying to be. Just like I'm neither think I am nor are trying to be gangsta. cough*

    Thanks so much, little comment box, for letting me ramble on and on. Because you would never stop me, would you? (See, I have the rights, too.)

    Please just think about it. Oh, and if you decide to pull me into your argument, it won't help, I won't answer you.
    *ducks out*


    -peace!-
    foundthevelvetsun7on April 07, 2008   Link
  • +1
    General CommentWhen I read the title my first thought was of class rankings, like the sophmore, junior, and senior classes at school have? 1st, 2nd, nerds striving to be in the top ten. So I think "there's a good reason these tables are numbered, honey" is another put down, saying that she's not good enough to sit at the first table. Or just a reference to a restaurant, which makes sense if it's a literal banquet.

    I get the feeling that he invited this old girlfriend to this party, just to show her how he's better, more important than she is. The venom he's singing with sounds like he's planned it, you know? He's bitter to the point of poison.

    Ever notice how when you're not so much mad at someone, but you feel that deep loathing of them to the point where you don't even want to insult them outright? It's like that, imo, he's sending her all these back-handed insults.

    It isn't her that saying "When did he get all confident?" she's reading it. No one's noticing her, they're all in raptures with him.

    As to the cancer bit, I think that the cigarette mention is an allusion to that, not the other way around.It seems more like a recurring theme than an outright reference. Anyhow, I think it's just like everyone's looking at him, the same way that some people (the sort of people who go to banquets?) will be intriguied with a cancer victim. The way you can't NOT look at car crashes.

    All of this is killing her, of course. And when she runs to the restroom, crying, it almost seems as if he's shouting these lines (keep telling yourself that "I'm a divaaa!") through the door. That may just be my imagination.

    Actually, my interpretation makes him sound like a bitch. Wow.
    ABulletInYourWHATon September 16, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General CommentGreat song! Here is how I interpret it.

    The beginning starts off as someone would enter into a formal gathering. And the notice that it was more formal than they were expecting... Sooner or later, they love how they are so unnaccepted, and find it very fun to feel so out of place. [[Please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman. From that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed.I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.]]

    This part, I think means when, eventually, people start talking about the person. And the core reason of the talking is mainly jealousy. Because even though they look different, and a bit out of place, they still look amazing because they have confidence. [[I'm the new cancer!,Never looked better, you can't stand it.Because you say so under your breath.You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer,Never looked better and you can't stand it.]]

    This part is when the people are still talking and the person might be confident, but in reality everyone is saying things about you that you would never imagine. "I bet to them your name is cheap. I bet to them you look like.. shh." By a whispering campagn, it means that everyone is talking about the person in whispers, slowly destroying the guy's reputation. [[Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain and
    I bet you just can't keep up with(keep up!)these fashionistas and.
    Tonight, tonight, you are, you are a whispering campaign.
    I bet to them, your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh...]]


    This is when he is trying to fight back the tears, because it's secretly hurting him. As much as confidence he might have, it hurts at the end. The guy keeps telling him he's a diva, and not listening to whatever the others have to say. [[Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears.
    And keep telling yourself that,"I'm a diva"
    Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box
    On the table, they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin.]]

    This is how he's fed up with everyone's fakeness and plans on saying something to them. "Spiking them with a punch." [[And I know, and I know, It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
    I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch.]]
    curlyyxoon December 23, 2009   Link

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

Back to top
explain