If I had a hammer, I'd build a house for two,
And if I had a sailing ship, I'd take a trip with you.
If I had a poets hand, I'd write a verse for thee,
And if I had a painters touch, On canvas you would be.

But I don't have a hammer,
And I don't have a ship.
So I can't build a house,
And we can't take a trip.
And I'll never be a poet,
Nor have the painters grace.
So I'll never write you're verse,
Nor immortalize your face.

And also, I have herpes.

Lyrics submitted by CZuck83

Love Song song meanings
Add your thoughts


sort form View by:
  • 0
    General Commentthe first line of the song was lost....it was
    "If I had a hammer, I'd build a house for two.
    CZuck83on February 11, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentEasily one of the funniest songs ever. I love how in both the Live at the El Ray DVD AND the Craig Machine the crowd starts laughing at the first line thinking they know what's coming, and he just quietly stops and starts over.
    Pandoruson December 01, 2006   Link

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

Back to top