I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
Do I look good for you tonight?
Will you accuse me as I hide
Behind these layers of disguise
In the mirrors of my own happiness?
I've loved the freedom of being inside
Need a new start and a different time
Something grows in the space between me
And it's twisting and changing this fragile body
And I wish I had been born a girl instead of what I am
Yes I wish I had been born a girl and not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
The censorship of my skin
Is screaming inside and from within
There's no room in this world for a girl like me
No place around there where I fit in
And I wish I had been born a girl instead of what I am
Yes I wish I had been born a girl and not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
Ooh
Will you accuse me as I hide
Behind these layers of disguise
In the mirrors of my own happiness?
I've loved the freedom of being inside
Need a new start and a different time
Something grows in the space between me
And it's twisting and changing this fragile body
And I wish I had been born a girl instead of what I am
Yes I wish I had been born a girl and not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
The censorship of my skin
Is screaming inside and from within
There's no room in this world for a girl like me
No place around there where I fit in
And I wish I had been born a girl instead of what I am
Yes I wish I had been born a girl and not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
And not this mess of a man
Ooh
Add your thoughts
Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.
Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!
More Featured Meanings
Dreamwalker
Silent Planet
Silent Planet
Gentle Hour
Yo La Tengo
Yo La Tengo
This song was originally written by a guy called Peter Gutteridge. He was one of the founders of the "Dunedin Sound" a musical scene in the south of New Zealand in the early 80s. From there it was covered by "The Clean" one of the early bands of that scene (he had originally been a member of in it's early days, writing a couple of their best early songs). The Dunedin sound, and the Clean became popular on american college radio in the mid to late 80s. I guess Yo La Tengo heard that version.
Great version of a great song,
When We Were Young
Blink-182
Blink-182
This is a sequel to 2001's "Reckless Abandon", and features the band looking back on their clumsy youth fondly.
Amazing
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran tells a story of unsuccessfully trying to feel “Amazing.” This track is about the being weighed down by emotional stress despite valiant attempts to find some positivity in the situation. This track was written by Ed Sheeran from the perspective of his friend. From the track, we see this person fall deeper into the negative thoughts and slide further down the path of mental torment with every lyric.
Page
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
There aren’t many things that’ll hurt more than giving love a chance against your better judgement only to have your heart crushed yet again. Ed Sheeran tells such a story on “Page.” On this track, he is devastated to have lost his lover and even more saddened by the feeling that he may never move on from this.
I can see how it can be applied to transsexualism, but I interpreted that he wants to be a girl because he wants to be accepted by a society that frowns upon feminine males, not because he feels that he is the wrong gender. That's why he calls himself a "mess of a man" because he is not what society expects of men.
this song, to me, holds on to the theme of little baby nothing although Nicky wrote the song, the lyrics remind me of Richey: "the censorship of my skin is screaming inside and from within there's no room in this world for a girl like me and place around there where i fit in" it's like how self-abuse is considered to be more of a feminine thing opposed to taking out your aggression on others is considered "manly" or masculine this song is pretty much a "lament for having being born a boy" as Nigel Packer of the BBC news declares it
In my opinion, it's a song about transexuality. I mean, that's what struck me when I heard it. And it fits with the lyrics.
I agree with Rosethornn. it feels like me in reverse, and I know a lot of transwomen identify with it. I wish there was another version, for FTMs, even though it wouldn't make sense. but I just want a song like this to listen to and know it's me, there aren't really many songs about transsexuals out there. :/
It's about Ed Gein, apparently.
Nicky quet clearly explained that it's about how he feels about himself.. there is a copy of his hand written note that can be seen on fuckyeahnickywire tumblr. on the subject
the note by Nicky is here nickywiresays.tumblr.com/<br />