I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
Chance doesn't exist
But the path of life is not totally so predestined
And time and chronology show us how all should be
In the ways of existence
To find out why we are here
Being conscious is a torment
The more we learn is the less we get
No one surveys the whole, focus on things so small
But life's objective is to make it meaningful
Only searching for this
That which doesn't exist
Although our ability to relativize remains unclear
Being conscious is a torment
The more we learn is the less we get
Every answer contains a new quest
A quest to non existence, a journey with no end
I'm not afraid to die
I'm afraid to be alive without being aware of it
I'm so afraid to, I couldn't stand to
Waste all my energy on things
That do not matter anymore
Our future has already been written by us alone
But we don't grasp the meaning of
Our programmed course of life
We only fear what comes, and smell death every day
Our future has already been wasted by us alone
And we just let it happen and do not worry at all
Our future has already been written by us alone
But we don't grasp the meaning of
Our programmed course of life
We only fear what comes, and smell death every day
Search for the answers that lie beyond
Being conscious is a torment
The more we learn is the less we get
Every answer contains a new quest
A quest to non existence, a journey with no end
But the path of life is not totally so predestined
And time and chronology show us how all should be
In the ways of existence
To find out why we are here
Being conscious is a torment
The more we learn is the less we get
No one surveys the whole, focus on things so small
But life's objective is to make it meaningful
Only searching for this
That which doesn't exist
Although our ability to relativize remains unclear
Being conscious is a torment
The more we learn is the less we get
Every answer contains a new quest
A quest to non existence, a journey with no end
I'm not afraid to die
I'm afraid to be alive without being aware of it
I'm so afraid to, I couldn't stand to
Waste all my energy on things
That do not matter anymore
Our future has already been written by us alone
But we don't grasp the meaning of
Our programmed course of life
We only fear what comes, and smell death every day
Our future has already been wasted by us alone
And we just let it happen and do not worry at all
Our future has already been written by us alone
But we don't grasp the meaning of
Our programmed course of life
We only fear what comes, and smell death every day
Search for the answers that lie beyond
Being conscious is a torment
The more we learn is the less we get
Every answer contains a new quest
A quest to non existence, a journey with no end
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This was the first song that i heard from epica, and i have to say that the meaning behind it is quite simplistic. " Being conscious is a torment, the more we learn is the less we get" The chorus speaks for itself. Why be conscious and know noting, when you could live in the doldrums of you mind searching for your own personal life answers? Even so, being conscious and dealing with all the secrets of life can be a burden.