If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind.

Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch.

Say man.
Hey baby.
Saw your wife the other day.
Yeah, she's ugly.
Yeah, she's ugly but she sure can cook.
Yeah?. Okay.

Lyrics submitted by milkbone

If You Wanna Be Happy song meanings
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  • +5
    General Commentdon't put this song on a mix for your girlfriend lol... she might put two and two together...
    seeskwaredon May 18, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThis song is so funny...i cant believe more people didnt post on this....this one has a good meaning... true though... im not gonna listen to it.
    Bri986on February 16, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Commentmy grandfather always gives me this advice...
    15characternameon March 21, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI LOVE this song! It is peppy and funny! It's basically saying that a beautiful woman is too high maintenance and will cause you pain whereas an ugly girl will make a better wife. A beautiful wife makes you seem smaller in comparison and she will break your heart but an ugly wife will be homely but accommodating. My favorite part is that ugly women cook meals on time. I sent my husband these lyrics in an email when I wanted him to pick up a restaurant take-out dinner after work..."If you make an ugly woman your wife, you'll be happy for the rest of your life. An ugly woman cooks meals on time And she'll always give you peace of mind. A pretty woman makes her husband pick up dinner on his way home but you know what they say.....Happy Wife, Happy Life. :-)" It worked! =0)
    RoseTeaCup1216on January 11, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis song is terribly stupid, but still funny. don't know any guys who would follow this one though.
    angeleyes07on July 18, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentya word why didnt anyone post on this....this song is sooo funny....i first heard it on pwned.nl...great song
    JustChillenon March 08, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI remember hearing this song on Radio 1 about 15 years ago.
    It completely left my mind until today, when me and a friend were looking at a particularly unattractive woman.
    kevinbrightonon September 02, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis song defines me
    suckmykisson October 26, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment"yeah, she's ugllllllllllly" hahah. for some reason this song makes me happy. ...?

    the end where he squawks "yeaaaaah yeah yeah yeah" is the best part.
    veeon November 07, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHaha, I love this song! My friend showed me it and at first, I didn't understand what it was about then she told me and I laughed. We sing it all the time now =P
    headbang666on February 09, 2007   Link

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