This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Did you know you were the girl
That made me hate blonde hair?
And I just can't wait
To make you hate me a little more
And every night that I spend
With bloodshot eyes and no end
And enough excuses here to bury me alive
So here I am
A love-worn masochist
With hearts carved straight across my chest
Letting the carpet soak up
All that's left to give
Will you swear you won't be sleeping?
'Cause I can't begin to dream to shut my eyes
And I'm biting bullets and watching phones
For no apparent reason
And I don't think that I'll make it out alive
Did you know you were the girl
That made love a four letter word?
I just can't wait
To make you hate me a little more
You made my head a mess
With the life of doctors notes
And ink blot tests
And enough empty bottles to bury me alive
So here I am
A love-worn masochist
With hearts carved straight across my chest
Letting the carpet soak up
All that's left to give
Will you swear you won't be sleeping?
'Cause I can't begin to dream to shut my eyes
And I'm biting bullets and watching phones
For no apparent reason
And I don't think that I'll make it out alive
When a smile is a close call
And my word's caught in my throat
I'm an inch away from dying
And I'm lucky if I choke
When a smile is a close call
(I wear my heart)
And my word's caught in my throat
(On my sleeve)
I'm an inch away from dying
(And you'll still)
And I'm lucky if I choke
(Walk right by me)
So here I am
A love-worn masochist
With hearts carved straight across my chest
Letting the carpet soak up all that's left to give
Will you swear you won't be sleeping?
'Cause I can't begin to dream to shut my eyes
And I'm biting bullets and watching phones
For no apparent reason
And I don't think that I'll make it out alive
No, I don't think that I'll make it out alive
That made me hate blonde hair?
And I just can't wait
To make you hate me a little more
And every night that I spend
With bloodshot eyes and no end
And enough excuses here to bury me alive
So here I am
A love-worn masochist
With hearts carved straight across my chest
Letting the carpet soak up
All that's left to give
Will you swear you won't be sleeping?
'Cause I can't begin to dream to shut my eyes
And I'm biting bullets and watching phones
For no apparent reason
And I don't think that I'll make it out alive
Did you know you were the girl
That made love a four letter word?
I just can't wait
To make you hate me a little more
You made my head a mess
With the life of doctors notes
And ink blot tests
And enough empty bottles to bury me alive
So here I am
A love-worn masochist
With hearts carved straight across my chest
Letting the carpet soak up
All that's left to give
Will you swear you won't be sleeping?
'Cause I can't begin to dream to shut my eyes
And I'm biting bullets and watching phones
For no apparent reason
And I don't think that I'll make it out alive
When a smile is a close call
And my word's caught in my throat
I'm an inch away from dying
And I'm lucky if I choke
When a smile is a close call
(I wear my heart)
And my word's caught in my throat
(On my sleeve)
I'm an inch away from dying
(And you'll still)
And I'm lucky if I choke
(Walk right by me)
So here I am
A love-worn masochist
With hearts carved straight across my chest
Letting the carpet soak up all that's left to give
Will you swear you won't be sleeping?
'Cause I can't begin to dream to shut my eyes
And I'm biting bullets and watching phones
For no apparent reason
And I don't think that I'll make it out alive
No, I don't think that I'll make it out alive
Lyrics submitted by HeartOurHive
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i have to say, i find it ironic that [sunetsxcarcrashes] brought up SoCo in "keeing the genre alive". This song is so beautiful, and JamisonParker [like SoCo] was a great band.. RIP.