This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I don't know whose side I'm on
I don't think that I belong 'round here
If I left the stage would that be wrong?
I tried to find myself a better way
I got religion but I went astray
They took my money and I lost my faith
Rain keeps crawling down the glass
The good times never seem to last
Close your eyes and let the thought
Pass
I tried the capsule and I tried the smoke
I tried to aid escape like normal folk
But I never seemed to get the joke
Rain keeps crawling down the glass
The good times never seem to last
Close your eyes and let the thought
Close your eyes and let it pass
(These are my old clothes)
(This is a new low)
(This is my blood flow)
(This is my headstone) ah-ah
I spend my days with all my friends
They're the ones on who my life depends
I'm gonna miss them when the series ends
Rain keeps crawling down the glass
(Pull yourself together)
The good times never seem to last
(You know it's not so bad)
Close your eyes and let the thought
Close your eyes and let it pass
(These are my old clothes)
(This is a new low)
(This is my blood flow)
(This is my headstone) ah-ah
I don't think that I belong 'round here
If I left the stage would that be wrong?
I tried to find myself a better way
I got religion but I went astray
They took my money and I lost my faith
Rain keeps crawling down the glass
The good times never seem to last
Close your eyes and let the thought
Pass
I tried the capsule and I tried the smoke
I tried to aid escape like normal folk
But I never seemed to get the joke
Rain keeps crawling down the glass
The good times never seem to last
Close your eyes and let the thought
Close your eyes and let it pass
(These are my old clothes)
(This is a new low)
(This is my blood flow)
(This is my headstone) ah-ah
I spend my days with all my friends
They're the ones on who my life depends
I'm gonna miss them when the series ends
Rain keeps crawling down the glass
(Pull yourself together)
The good times never seem to last
(You know it's not so bad)
Close your eyes and let the thought
Close your eyes and let it pass
(These are my old clothes)
(This is a new low)
(This is my blood flow)
(This is my headstone) ah-ah
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feeling out of place, looking for help, trying to escape, then considering suicide, and then talking yourself out of it .. thats what it means to me.
First things first, a lot of people cling onto the whole serial killer theme, which for a lot of the songs in the album hold true, but I think you should not force the theme on the interpretation of every single song in the album.
In my opinion, the song is first and foremost about a depressed, suicidal man -an outcast of society, who may or may not be a serial killer-
The lyrics describe his depressed feelings, his attempts to escape his depression, and the subject trying to talk himself out of suicide.
"I don't know whose side I'm on I don't think that I belong round here If I left the stage would that be wrong ?"
The first verse sets the mood. Our subject does not feel like he's part of any group of people, thus he thinks he does not belong in the world. Leaving the stage in this context would be committing suicide.
"I tried to find myself a better way I got religion but I went astray They took my money and I lost my faith"
The second verse describes his attempts to seek help. He doesn't really want to kill himself, maybe there's a solution. Thus he turns to religion, maybe in search of god, or maybe in the hopes of finding a small community to be part of. But he is disappointed, because he feels as if the church only wants his money, and does not really want to help him.
"Rain keeps crawling down the glass The good times never seem to last Close your eyes and let the thought pass
He's looking out a window into the rain thinking about his life when suicidal thoughts arise. But another voice in his head talks himself into ignoring those thoughts as they will fade away after a while.
"I tried the capsule and I tried the smoke I tried to aid escape like normal folk But I never seemed to get the joke
He's gotten anti-depressants and/or other drugs and substances -maybe legal, maybe not- in order to numb himself of his dark thoughts. He's been trying to find help like other depressed people, but he is not responsive to the treatment (he metaphorically does not "get the joke")
At this point the music intensifies, into a more active vibe, maybe indicating that the subject is setting things in motion in a rush to finally commit suicide. The following words indicate a suicide attempt.
"These are my old clothes This is a new low This is my blood flow This is my headstone
In a low point he finally tries to kill himself with a razor, presumably. "This is my headstone" He feels like this is the end, he's surely going to die.
At this point I think the subject is saved in some way, and his friends and relatives finally pay attention to him, as they now see the gravity of his condition.
"I spend my days with all my friends They're the ones on who my life depends I'm gonna miss them when the series ends"
He gets visitors more often now, concerned friends and relatives. These people keep him busy, distract him from his suicidal thoughts. They form a hurdle in his suicidal tendencies, perhaps physically but maybe also because he realizes that his death would devastate his loved ones. "I'm gonna miss them when the series ends" he knows that the attention he's brought onto himself is a temporary thing, as the other people will someday move on with their lives. He's still suicidal.
"Rain keeps crawling down the glass (Pull yourself together) The good times never seem to last (You know it's not so bad) Close your eyes and let the thought pass (Close your eyes and let it pass)
A second voice enters the chorus now, these may be quotes from his friends that try to help him. They grant new insight, and his condition seems to be a bit better than before.
@ImJustATree<br /> "I spend my days with all my friends<br /> They're the ones on who my life depends<br /> I'm gonna miss them when the series ends"<br /> <br /> I'm pretty sure this is about TV, he has nobody to turn to except the characters on the TV shows
well i actually dont believe in this whole tv-thing and leaving the friends... ill come back to this later
i think u should still try to stick to the serialkiller theme of the album...
this brings me to the conclusion that what he really means with series are the serial kills...
that made me think about what if he is caught?!
several serialkillers have been caught and then been released again, for example when he is caught for raping somebody but nobodie found out that he murdered so many people...
there are some phrases that made me think this way...
"If I left the stage would that be wrong?" as a psychopatic he would normaly think that what he did was ok... but still his "human" part is trying to convience him to give up...
"They took my money and I lost my faith" that actually could mean that he is caught... in jail you have nothing... and its normal that you loose your faith... there are no dreams in jail anymore...
"I tried the capsule and I tried the smoke I tried to aid escape like normal folk" this seems for me as if he was brought to a psychologist and forced to take pills perhaps even in probation?(like marc dutroux who later on used to give his pills to the victims)
"I spend my days with all my friends They're the ones on who my life depends I'm gonna miss them when the series ends" he sees his victims as his friends and as he is not able to commit any crimes he will "miss them when the series ends"
"Rain keeps crawling down the glass (Pull yourself together) The good times never seem to last (You know it's not so bad) Close your eyes and let the thought pass (Close your eyes and let it pass)" the last repetation of the chorus is the key... as his inner darker voice is speaking to him telling him that everything will be fine... he only has to be good in jail and he'll be out soon...
you can also interpret the thought of suicide (as some serialkiller also commited suicide as they where caught) but it does not have to be...
might be that you dont agree with me, but i think this album tells a whole story... of course most of the tracks can be interpret in different ways... but for me the whole album is a storyline and i enjoy hearing it everytime as for me it could be the same as whatching a movie... just better^^
Steven Wilson always intends for his songs to convey multiple meanings; usually two major interpretations. In the case of In Absentia, almost all his songs have an interpretation that is consistent with the theme of the album, plus other, slightly different explanations (which maybe easier to relate to ).<br /> <br /> So this song can also be considered to be about how the person is confused about issues like religion and how he is disillusioned with his life in general. He tries to keep his mind occupied through TV, drug abuse and so on; but never finds true satisfaction. This is to the extent that he sometimes contemplates suicide, but in the end always ends up controlling this impulse. This reading of the song can be easily related to by a lot of people and is just as good as the serial killer theme.
I agree with the comments (except the one of Velvet, read on ;)), but: Isn't the line "I'm gonna miss them when the series ends" saying that he actually has no friends? That his "friends" are the actors in the TV?
that was what i was thinking about today, and why i went here to check out if anyone else thought of that.<br /> i'm not sure about it though.. it can be interpreted in many ways.<br /> <br /> when i look at SW's lyrics and i find another meaning for a song to have i just 'ad it to the list' instead of choosing one meaning over the other.<br /> that, imo, is what makes SW so brilliant :')
To me this song is about realising your life is stagnating and attempting to do something about it but after making the changes and trying to reinvent yourself you realise that the things you hate most about your life are what's inside you.
I can really relate the the lines:
"I spend my days with all my friends They're the ones on who my life depends I'm gonna miss them when the series ends"
This is certainly about filling the void in your social life with TV programs. It links in with "..I tried the smoke" since stoners will often spend hours vegetating watching TV.... there's a longing for more social interaction but at the same time you feel so disconnected from others and struggle to maintain the friendships that you have.
"These are my old clothes This is a new low"
Also makes me think of the idea of reinventing yourself to try and fit in. Personally I have tried to change my image to fit in more with the people I live with and yet the situations I have found myself in over the past year have made me feel worse... New clothes.. or the shedding of your old ones can't remove your personality traits.
The "Rain keeps crawling down the glass" makes me think of the times when you feel depressed and lethargic and can't bring yourself to do things.. you end up wasting time just sat watching...
I can see the serial killer link in this song.. but at the same time I think this is more about the way that it is easy to subtly kill your own life through inaction and allowing yourself to wallow in your depression and getting hung up over things that you can't change.
How can this song be so damn good?? GODDAMNIT, this album is kicking my ass.
WOW!!! This song describes how so many (I think...LOL) feel at times in their lives. We try so hard to make a decision that we end up not choosing a side, since we see the bad in both (dealing with religion, politics, life, or even more simple issues). It seems so terrible, but we go on for some reason, wishing and almost knowing that this terrible time will pass....once again, amazing instrumentation.
It's about considering suicide.
"This is my blood flow / this is my headstone," is talking about slitting your wrists.
"Close your eyes and let it pass," means letting your life end and being at peace with it.
It's super depressing, but an amazing song.
and what about 'If I left the stage would that be wrong?'<br /> <br /> think you might have a point...
It's about someone trying to find purpose or meaning in their life and failing. And, considering this song is on In Absentia, it's probably about someone's road to insanity.
I can really relate to this part of the song
'I spend my days with all my friends They're the ones on who my life depends I'm gonna miss them when the series ends'
I see that part as just having good times with your friends and being with the people you love to be with. And you pretty much depend on them to keep you happy. But you're not always with them. and you are somehow separated from them. and you become depressed.
'Rain keeps crawling down the glass The good times never seem to last'
I can picture someone sitting there by a window watching the rain, separated from the people he/she loves. Wishing to be with them again. but it never lasts. and it's gone before they know it. only to be separated again.
I can really relate to that..
that verse 'I spend my days with all my friends...etc.' is a joke bro. Spend my days with all my friends, they're the ones on whom my life depends, I'm gonna miss them when the series ends. He's talking about a TV series, not even his friends are real, all he has is television, and not even that is fulfilling.