"My Perfect Cousin" as written by Damian Stephen O'neill and Michael Bradley....
Now I've got a cousin called Kevin
He's sure to go to heaven
Always spotless clean and neat
The smoothest you can get them
He's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket
My ma said they cost a packet
She won't even let me explain
That me and Kevin were just not the same

Oh my perfect cousin
What I like to do he doesn't
He's his family's private joy
His mothers little golden boy

He's gotta a grade in economics
Maths - physics and bionics
He thinks that I'm a cabbage
'cause I hate university challenge
Even at the age of ten
Smart boy Kevin was a smart boy then
He always beat me at Subbuteo
'cause he flicked the kick
And I didn't know

Oh my perfect cousin ..

His mother bought him a synthesizer
Got the Human League into advise her
Now he's making lots of noise
Playing along with the art school boys
Girls try to attract his attention
But what a shame it's in vain total rejection
He will never be left on the shelf
'cause Kevin he's in love with himself

Oh my perfect cousin

Lyrics submitted by planetearth

"My Perfect Cousin" as written by Michael Bradley Damian Stephen O'neill

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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My Perfect Cousin song meanings
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  • +1
    General Commentmy perfect cousin..
    alexandraqwertyon June 26, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Commentone of those classic songs that your dad [tries to] sing[s] to.
    melrfazon October 29, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHis cousin was a prime minister or smth like that. Forgot what... Well he was into politics & stuff, very influent. Do I need to say any more :D?
    _MissVicious_on January 08, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentBtw. sorry for double posting, but I'm almost positive, that song starts with a lyrics: I've got a cousin named Kevin...etc.
    _MissVicious_on January 08, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThe lyric was written about his cousin he was pissed off with being compared with! Fergal did him the great disservice of letting the name of the cousin slip during a radio interview thereby starting a family row.
    gsleithon August 19, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI didn't know all that history surrounding it. I always thought it was about the evils of ambition, since Kevin doesn't seem like a nice guy even though he's successful, as well as people's obsession with money since his family likes Kevin better.
    TheIronFaceofSteelon February 14, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Commentwoweee, yeah i can relate to this song [my cousin is a prat too!]
    squidge57on March 23, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General Commentsounds a bit like the who...
    DeathAtTheChapelon October 30, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentYeah, the Who.... I've been wondering about that too.
    Remember their song, 'Cousin Kevin'? "I'm the school bully, the classroom cheat..."
    Perhaps the "perfect" cousin's name in this song was intentionally chosen as a tribute to the Who?
    reptileon July 07, 2010   Link

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