I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
I'm nicotine
I'm coming clean
I fooled the crowd
when i made it sound
like i was more than ready
strike up the band,
deprive my sleep,
cause theres no love
like appathy.
the bell that tolls
rings loud enough
that it should have
woke us up.
chorus-
im trying to find truth in words,
in rhymes and notes
in all the things i wish i wrote
cause i feel like ive been losing you.
i read your last entry,
overprivelidged kids keep crying.
they need to fit in,
its harder when living life from a screen.
old classmates please drop all your pens,
dont write a word cause i wont reply
and im not bitter, no
its just ive past that point in my life.
chorus-
im trying to find truth in words,
in rhymes and notes
in all the things i wish i wrote
cause i feel like ive been losing you.
each night it ends too soon.
you dont hold me like you used to
and your eyes look like theyve seen too much cause
its always some excuse--
too tired, too obtuse.
you look so far removed.
this time i fear im losing losing you.
m nicotine.
im a cash machine.
im the color green
and you should have seen
the looks i just received.
i need a reason to let go.
an intervention, a lullaby.
something to cure me,
please believe me.
I'm coming clean
I fooled the crowd
when i made it sound
like i was more than ready
strike up the band,
deprive my sleep,
cause theres no love
like appathy.
the bell that tolls
rings loud enough
that it should have
woke us up.
chorus-
im trying to find truth in words,
in rhymes and notes
in all the things i wish i wrote
cause i feel like ive been losing you.
i read your last entry,
overprivelidged kids keep crying.
they need to fit in,
its harder when living life from a screen.
old classmates please drop all your pens,
dont write a word cause i wont reply
and im not bitter, no
its just ive past that point in my life.
chorus-
im trying to find truth in words,
in rhymes and notes
in all the things i wish i wrote
cause i feel like ive been losing you.
each night it ends too soon.
you dont hold me like you used to
and your eyes look like theyve seen too much cause
its always some excuse--
too tired, too obtuse.
you look so far removed.
this time i fear im losing losing you.
m nicotine.
im a cash machine.
im the color green
and you should have seen
the looks i just received.
i need a reason to let go.
an intervention, a lullaby.
something to cure me,
please believe me.
Lyrics submitted by laurreennnn4
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I love the lines "I'm trying to find truth in words, In rhymes and notes In all the things I wish I wrote 'Cause I feel like I've been losing you."
Because it's exactly what I do. I live through lyrics of songs, words that I wish I could have written to say how I really feel. Also, the part about old classmates really hits home for me too, because I'd really rather not hear from a lot of my old classmates. Because I'm past what's happened, and I just don't care anymore.