If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that want to make sure my casket's closed
Rap critics that say he's "Money, cash, hoes"
I'm from the hood, stupid, what type of facts are those?
If you grew up with holes in your Zapatos
You'd celebrate the minute you was having dough
I'm like, "Fuck critics" you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if I don't play they show
They don't play my hits, well, I don't give a shit, so
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers
I don't know what you take me as
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
I'm from rags to riches, niggas I ain't dumb
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

The year's '94 and my trunk is raw
In my rearview mirror is the motherfucking law
I got two choices y'all, pull over the car or
Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor
Now I ain't trying to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars I can fight the case
So I, pull over to the side of the road
I heard, "Son, do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
"'Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?"
"Well you was doing fifty-five in a fifty-four" (uh huh)
"License and registration and step out of the car"
"Are you carrying a weapon on you, I know a lot of you are"
I ain't stepping out of shit, all my papers legit
"Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights so you goin' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack? You some type of lawyer or something?"
"Somebody important or something?"
Well, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my shit
"Well we'll see how smart you are when the K-9 come"
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Now once upon a time not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strong-arm a ho
This is not a ho in the sense of having a pussy
But a pussy having no goddamn sense try and push me
I tried to ignore 'em, talk to the Lord
Pray for 'em, 'cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight
The only thing that's goin' happen is I'ma get to clapping and
He and his boys goin' be yapping to the Captain
And there I go trapped in the Kit-Kat again
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
Fiends on the floor scratching again
Paparazzi's with they cameras, snapping 'em
D.A. tried to give a nigga shaft again
Half a mil' for bail 'cause I'm African
All because this fool was harassing them
Trying to play the boy like he's saccharine
But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how I hold my gun
I got ninety-nine problems being a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one
If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Having girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety-nine problems and a bitch ain't one

You're crazy for this one, Rick, it's your boy


Lyrics submitted by thewhitepony33

99 Problems Lyrics as written by Norman Landsberg Tracy Lauren Marrow

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.

Lyrics powered by LyricFind

99 Problems song meanings
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89 Comments

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  • +5
    General Comment

    he uses the word "bitch" differently in all three verses: in the first verse, music industry in general is the bitch, in the second, the canine is the bitch, and in the third, the guy who tries to screw with him is the bitch.

    sammythemcon July 01, 2004   Link
  • +2
    General Comment

    I haven't seen any website get this line right:

    "If you grew up with holes in your zapper toes "

    Should be

    "If you grew up with holes in your zapatos"

    Zapatos is spanish for shoes. He mispronounced it, but I still think it's a clever rhyme.

    Doc_42on June 23, 2004   Link
  • +2
    General Comment

    ppl that have many felonies for drug trafficing, they get a habitual felony. in prison, when you get this, they call it 'the bitch'. if you notice, in the song jay z talks about not getting caught, esp in teh 2nd verse. hes got 99 problems, but 'the bitch' isnt one of them, cause he aint gonna get caught :D

    crudeon February 12, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    sup? i Think alot of you rock heads got to listen to this song again. caz i dont know but i would rather have so girl problems compared to racism on my back every day. caz i can not even think what that would be like. hint hint he is down playing the girl problims

    AHLon October 17, 2004   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    this song is like Jay-Z was writing the lyrics to my life.

    cos' like so many days go by in my life where i think to myself "i do have 99 probems, but a bitch ain't one".

    jimmychangaon May 03, 2008   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    I've done a lot of research on illuminati, and it's obvious Jay Z is part of it too. what a big waste!

    pinkcanvason January 15, 2013   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    where did u get all that stuff about the significant other?

    SPinhalfLITon April 26, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    yeah, this is the best from the black

    NegativeNeveron May 03, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    unrelated to the lyrics, but if you pick up the may issue of SPIN magazine, it has this hilarious article about jay-z's 99 problems.

    saintnateon May 05, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    Gonna be big.

    Adios Jay.

    Great video, stirrin' up the controversy.

    wolfplaya07on May 06, 2004   Link

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