"Profits of Doom" as written by and Dan Maines Jean-paul Gaster....
Born with a mustache and a supernova, tossed off the cliffs of Dover.
Washed up on a far away shore in the arms of the daughter of the Buffalo.
Mama said he was the chosen one. Reverend said he was the other one.
All that pay no mind inside his Econoline.

Swallower of Planets, the profits of doom.
Quarterly projections, the profits of doom.

A caliph, rabbi, and a bishop walk into a bar.
One says to the other,
â??Hey now brother, we haven't gotten very far.â??

Who's the writing? John the Revelator.
He wrote the Book of the 7th Seal.

Swallower of Planets, the profits of doom.
Quarterly projections, the profits of doom.

Genesis and Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers,
Gideon is knocking in your hotel while you slumber.

Swallower of Planets, the profits of doom.

Never trust the white man driving the black van
He's just saving all his voodoo for you.
Just for you.

Never trust the white man driving the black van
He's just saving all his voodoo for you.
Just for you.


Lyrics submitted by almostmanda

"Profits of Doom" as written by Jean-paul Gaster Dan Maines

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Profits of Doom song meanings
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  • +4
    General Comment'Profits,' as used in this song has a double meaning. One being the Prophets who wrote the bible, the other is a refrence to how christianity has become commercialized.

    My favorite lines in the song are "Genesis and Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers, Gideon is knocking in your hotel while you slumber." I think its a refrence to how Christians are infltrating our lives, often without our desire or consent.

    Also in the song is the refrence to slavery. Certain biblical passages were used by slaveowners to justify their actions. I think that the 'voodoo' the white man is saving is the willingness to exploit religious beliefs for economic gain.
    DreamTheater007on February 27, 2006   Link
  • +2
    General CommentI'm probably give this song way more attention in interpretation than it deserves, but here it goes.
    The song is about conflicts between people of different religious beliefs and how the leaders of those people profit from their fears.

    "Born with a moustache and a supernova, tossed off the cliffs of Dover.
    Washed up on a far away shore in the arms of the daughter of the Buffalo."

    Dover is a major ferryport in England. The Puritans were dissecting the Church of England. The Church of England started persecuting the Puritans. The Puritans were 'tossed' out of England in a way, and they settled in America. Daughter of the Buffalo being a metaphor for america?? Supernova - the Puritan movement being an explosive one, tearing down the tradition and formalities of Christianity formed over the centuries? Methinks that these lines aren't aimed specifically at a certain sect of Christian, but just showing the dissention between the different religous sects and using a familiar story as an example. And moustaches are sometimes creepy, and it seems he is trying to paint a picture of a creep.

    "Mamma said he was the chosen one. Reverend said he was the other one.
    All that pay no mind inside his Econoline."

    The first line here showing the dissention between two people of one church, his mamma and the Reverend (assuming they are part of the same sect). 'All that pay no mind' show how people somehow ignore how their church leaders "miraculously" increase in wealth, the example used is an Econoline, a large conspicuous vehicle. I associate Christians with large vans.

    "Swallower of Planets, the profits of doom.
    Quarterly projections, the profits of doom"

    The The Swallower of Planets - metaphor for the End. Profits of doom - churchs making money off of the fears and insecurites of mankind with indoctrination and interpretations of the Bible as pretentious as the little number I'm typing up right now.

    A caliph, rabbi, and a bishop walk into a bar.
    One says to the other,
    Hey now brother, we haven't gotten very far.

    Shows that the leaders of the different religious movements are just as clueless as when they first started their missions. The caliph, rabbi, and bishop being powerful indiviuals in their organizations, but they are not the source of the doctrines they teach. So they are just as lost as the rest. But they make money from it.

    "Who's the writing? John the Revelator.
    He wrote the Book of the 7th Seal."

    Obviously just a shoutout to the good ol' Book of Revelations written by the apostle John.

    "Genesis and Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers,
    Gideon is knocking in your hotel while you slumber."

    Gideon is Hebrew for 'destroyer', and hes just listing off books of the bible, which make up the Torah (with the omission of Dueteronomy, which is probably just becasue it didn't rhyme well) which are the five books of Moses. They are consider prophetical. Maybe just having to do with Bibles being in almost every hotel room.

    "Never trust the white man driving the black van
    He's just saving all his voodoo for you.
    Just for you."
    Possibly just painting a picture of a con-artist, which is what most preachers turn out to be. A white dude with a moustache driving a black econoline spouting off prophetical nonsense to try and muster up a following to establish a church to make lots of money lol.
    It could also have to do with racism. Van might not be refering to a vehicle. Van is also the foremost division of an army. Maybe a white man driving a black front division of an army.
    Now i'm thinking of racist white southern Bible pounders ripping around in Econolines making lots of money. This is the last time I try to interpret a Clutch song. They only make sense when your stoned lol.
    stonednboredon July 19, 2011   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI definitely agree with DreamTheater there.

    The title is a play on "Prophets of Doom", the people who go on about the reckoning coming soon. In this case, it's the "Profits" of Doom. The title in itself seems to suggest that it's about people who make money out of keeping people scared that the end is coming, and making them afraid to not find religon and be saved from the end.

    There's money to be made off the frightened masses, especially once you have them eating out of the palm of your hand.
    SlightlyShinobion December 02, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThere's a couple of pretty good and in-depth interpretations. One glaring over-sight I'd like to add is for the line
    "Gideon is knocking in your hotel while you slumber."

    The organization that ensures every hotel/motel room in all of the United States has a Bible is Gideon International. That is at least part of the meaning of that lyric.
    Uzzyon June 24, 2013   Link
  • +1
    My OpinionI think its simply Neils way of saying "Religion is a joke, don't believe everything you read in a book" The man is a genius with his lyrics and word play and a lot of their songs are not so much Anti Religious, as a shout out to waken up and smell the coffee. None more so than this peach,
    PoliBon October 19, 2013   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI can't help but think this is a thought about the end of the world. Jesus versus Money and all that stuff.
    OpinionHeadon January 13, 2005   Link
  • 0
    My Interpretationim guessing its a view of what priests think the end of the world will be like
    ArtificialDeadon February 19, 2009   Link
  • 0
    General CommentLove this song, so much clever word play. I actually named my fantasy football team after this song.
    UnFaithfulAtheiston February 10, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General CommentIts just music y'all lighten up. The meaning isn't what you think it is !
    craiglnaon April 23, 2015   Link
  • -1
    General Commenti see symilarities with that first metaphoric sounding intro part of the song......the first 4 lines.....and the following stanzas discluding the chorus" swallowers of planets prophits of doom" which only generaliz the idea n all. for example the ecoline mentioned in the 4th, or last line of the intro, is a type of van and in the last phrase of the song it says to never trust the white man in the black van, because he pays no mind. savin all his voodoo on you. he believes his doomed fortune is yours just as well and preaches it your way. as for the eyes of the daughter of the buffalo corelating with something else in the song...pshh fuck it! sounds good so sing it
    AardvarkoDestruktoon February 01, 2010   Link

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