Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend tod me the news
He said, "Hey! You know that vacant lot
Right behind the gas station? Well somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"
Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine
Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store

Would you look at all that stuff...
They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters
Trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water meters
Walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters
Paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables
Hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles
Pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication
Metal roofing, waterproofing, multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
Tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers
Calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers

I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes I'm goin' to the
Hardware store


Lyrics submitted by rjbucs28

Hardware Store song meanings
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22 Comments

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  • +1
    General CommentThe bit where he lists all the stuff...holy shit, it's awesome.
    Dushon December 15, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentKudos to Rjbucs28 for the third verse and the rest of the song!! I have to memorize this song by the beginning of the scool year so I can show of to everyone. That will give me plenty of time... *cackles*
    oceloton June 22, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentIf you can listen to this song without laughing, you have no sense of humour. Even the intro's funny.
    Regos the Saneon April 19, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentSo whose style is this a parody of, if any?
    captain loogieon May 05, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI don't think it's a parody of anyone's style, except maybe those Bob the Builder songs that were released a couple of years ago.
    Regos the Saneon May 21, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI had no idea he could talk so fast...
    Very nice song!
    Fotang_inAon April 02, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Comment"automatic circumcisers" holy shit, didn't notice lol
    Fotang_inAon April 02, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commenthahaha, great song but no, it isnt a parody, its an original! lol, maybe he can tlk that fast! but if he cant they probably recorded it then sped it up
    lil rocker99on May 20, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI don't think they sped up the list part, they just edited out where they took breaths.
    FiveseveNon June 25, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentis it true he doesnt play this song live because of that 3rd verse?
    avs2006on July 04, 2006   Link

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