"Bizarre Christmas Incident" as written by and Benjamin Scott Folds....
(Ho ho ho!)

Hey grandpa, let's tell them the little story about this Christmas
(Yeah tell 'em, tell 'em about Christmas!)

Christmas Eve,
I didn't get much sleep
I kept hearing things
Heavy breathing from the chimney, who could it be?

(I know who it was)
(What happened then, Ben?)
(Yeah, what happened?)
I went back to sleep
(Back to sleep? Shit!)
I'm tired if I don't have sleep

And in the morn'
I couldn't believe my eyes
A whale of a corpse
With a long white beard was hangin' over the fire

Oh, Santa's he's a big fat fuck
Went down the chimney got his fat ass suck
Oh honey call the lawyers fast
'Cause Mrs. Claus is gonna sue my ass

Hey hey hey (hey!) yeah
(Ohh, oh oh)

Ok grandpa, step up
Sing in this thing right here
Tell them what you saw, tell them what you saw grandpa

I gotta tell you folks
He wasn't wearin' no clothes (no clothes!)
He must have rubbed the whole gallon of Crisco off
From his back and down to his toes

Well, I was talking to the cops outside
The dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs
They hauled him away in a double wide
What a sad, sad way to die, hey hey hey!

Santa's he's a big fat fuck
Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck
Oh honey call the lawyers fast
Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass


Lyrics submitted by syrupofipecac, edited by Mellow_Harsher

"Bizarre Christmas Incident" as written by Benjamin Scott Folds Ben Folds

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

Lyrics powered by LyricFind

Bizarre Christmas Incident song meanings
Add your thoughts

3 Comments

sort form View by:
  • 0
    General CommentBen Folds is a musical genius. I laughed my ass off when I first heard this song, and I just love how Ben can make fun of anything, plus he can write insanely good ...serious songs as well.
    syrupofipecacon September 22, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commentpoor santa...
    sham_onon October 16, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commentyeah, i agree with both of u, ben folds can write amazingly, he can write anything, and make it sound good! he's incredible. i was in tears when i heard this song, its hilarious, and sad too, poor santa, i agree sham on.
    laurajpon September 07, 2006   Link

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!

Back to top
explain