"Cows With Guns" as written by and Dana C Lyons....
Fat and docile, big and dumb
They look so stupid, they aren't much fun
Cows aren't fun

They eat to grow, grow to die
Die to be et at the hamburger fry
Cows well done

Nobody thunk it, nobody knew
No one imagined the great cow guru
Cows are one

He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal
He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal
Cow Tse Tongue

He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred
He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd
Cow doldrums

He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die
Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high

Bad cow pun

But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate
Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate
Cows are bummed

He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy
No one suspected he was packing an Uzi
Cows with guns

They came with a needle to stick in his thigh
He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye
Cow well hung

Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door
Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor
Run cows run!

He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay
We are free roving bovines, we run free today

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

They crashed the gate in a great stampede
Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed
Cows have fun

Sixty police cars were piled in a heap
Covered in cow pies, covered up deep
Much cow dung

Black smoke rising, darkening the day
Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

The President said "enough is enough
These uppity cattle, its time to get tough"
Cow dung flung

The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief
Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef
Cows on buns

The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed
They mooed their last moos,
they chewed their last hay
Cows outgunned

The order was given to turn cows to whoppers

Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers
But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers
Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers

We will fight for bovine freedom
And [E]hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die

Cows with guns


Lyrics submitted by crackermcnacca

"Cows with Guns" as written by Dana C Lyons

Lyrics © LYONS BROTHERS MUSIC, BMI

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Cows With Guns song meanings
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5 Comments

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  • 0
    General Commentthis song is sooooo dam funny this song was sung by dana lyons
    thomasrobertson July 15, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentyipee! I LOVE THIS SONG! see pariah, it does exist!
    rozzleon July 19, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentEldore why would you post such shit? It's a satire of both capitalist society and those who rebel against it.
    Dressed2Depresson August 27, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentEldore, darling, I think you've read WAY to much into this. Go have a hamburger and chill, mi' dear. Hilarious song by the way.
    TaraTuneson February 06, 2008   Link
  • -3
    General Commentthis song, however funny it sounds is actually referring to the 'mysterious' death of several Checkoslovakians in 1860, there was a terrible mass suicide not *cough* forced by the germans because of a diplomatic disagreement. the "chickens in choppers" refers to the elite investigators, the equivelant of our FBI.
    eldore44on December 22, 2004   Link

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