"Headline News" as written by Brad Roberts and Weird Al Yankovic....
Once, there was this kid who
Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint
And when he finally came back
He had cane marks all over his bottom
He said that it was from when
The warden whacked it so hard

Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm, ah

Once there was this girl who
Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion
And when she finally made it
She saw some other girl who was better
And so she hired some guy to
Club her in the kneecap

Mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm
Ah, mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm

They got paid for their sound bites
And sold their TV movie rights

And then, there was this guy who
Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his wiener
And when he finally came to
He found that Mr. Happy was missing
He couldn't quite explain it
It'd always just been there

Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm
Mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm

Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)

Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Were)
Ah ah (There) ah ah (Is)

(There were, there is)
(There were, there is)


Lyrics submitted by Demau Senae

"Headline News" as written by Weird Al Yankovic Brad Roberts

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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Headline News song meanings
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13 Comments

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  • 0
    General CommentThis song is so damn funny! how come no one's commented on it yet?
    nietzsche_66on June 02, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti heard this song i thin when i was.... well... extremely little.. or third grade @ my cousins hosue.. and i loved it! haha.. i kept singing "and he found out Mr Happy was gone" thinking i was just hilarious..
    EmoIsGoodon June 30, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHis best song, obvious meaning though.
    Morpheus02812on June 20, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti think this song is about how many weird stories make the "HEADLINES"...the music video really gives you more of an understanding than just listening to the song... really funny....
    Weirdalspizzaon May 09, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThe first portion is about a guy named Michael Faye (i think, something Faye) an american guy who came over to singapore and vandalised some cars, and the big deal that was made about his punishment (caning, which is a routine punishment for minor offences in singapore, Sometimes for major ones too, in addition to jailtime.)
    shadowwiththeeyeson October 09, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentSecond part's about Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan, for those of you that don't know.

    Last part's about Lorena Bobbit. I think that one's self-explanatory.
    Song's basically mocking the weird shit we do.
    shadowwiththeeyeson October 09, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWeird Al, ever the twisted musical jester. This probably ranks as my favorite Weird Al parody. I didn't know such a comedian could make such a twisted social statement.
    OpinionHeadon October 12, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWeird Al is is a genius. A musical genius, musicians would agree he's up there with Frank Zappa.
    mattalacon August 24, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWell I'm sure most of you know, but it hasn't been mentioned yet. This is a parody of Mmmm Mmmm Mmmmm by the Crash Test Dummies, and is absolutely brilliant. Weird Al at his best
    Foundation4lifeon March 08, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthe funny part is this all actually happend.
    memandudeon May 14, 2006   Link

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