"Jerry Springer" as written by and Ed/yankovic Robertson....
It's been one week since we got to see
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
Yesterday it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer

Holy cow, d'you see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who sucker-punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl
Became a total free-for-all?
And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee
Hey, see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap dance
And date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerry's next guest
And it's a slugfest
Cause it's her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack
It's like "When Animals Attack"
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
Step on their toes, that's how it goes
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver

They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt and pointin' blame
On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame
There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts

It's been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter feud
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer

Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister.
Oh, which one?
All of 'em.
Ah, well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake.
Yeah? W-Well, me too! And, I've been sleepin' with your dog Woofie!
Woofie, you bitch! Well I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
That goat doesn't love you!

Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation
He's a sensation
He puts the 'sin' in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check
It's like a train wreck
Don't want to stare, but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin' higher every day
If you've seen the show, well then you know
It's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen

Well, it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one

It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser's wife said that she's still dating twenty guys
Three days since he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger


Lyrics submitted by Demau Senae

"Jerry Springer" as written by Ed Robertson Alfred Matthew Yankovic

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

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Jerry Springer song meanings
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12 Comments

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  • +2
    General Comment"One Week" is a catchy song, but this is SO much better. I like how Weird Al uses some of the original lyrics, and they seem to make more sense in this song. "Have to sign a waiver", "ripping off shirts", "BOOM"; they all fit what Jerry Springer is about so seamlessly.
    mjp81on June 21, 2009   Link
  • +1
    General CommentThe Female Springer Guest is the voice of the same woman who voiced Babs Bunny from Tiny Toons and Agnes Skinner from the Simpsons and such
    King Nothingon May 04, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General Comment6 comments!?!?!?! this song's hilarious!!!

    "Ah, well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake."
    "Yeah? W-Well, me too!"

    lol this songs great
    Fotang_inAon April 10, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentParody of "One Week" by Bare Naked Ladies
    Demau Senaeon March 30, 2001   Link
  • 0
    General CommentGreat song, but I've got a problem with the line "Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee".
    He's not! He always runs and hides whenever there's a fight. I reckon the y should get rid of the security guys. That would be a really entertaining show.
    Regos the Saneon May 27, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHe made fun of that song good
    beastieboyon June 02, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis song is hilarious.
    PGMon July 19, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis was the first weird al song that i completely memorized. love it!
    bazmegon January 20, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis song is fucking hilarious and outrageously clever. Barenaked Ladies also rock. Jerry Springer is such a pathetic form of entertainment, I'm glad that Al parodied it
    River Wolfon August 10, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti know this song by heart. O_O
    korkheadon June 07, 2007   Link

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