"I Can't Watch This" as written by Rick James, Alonzo Miller, Alfred Matthew Yankovic and Stanley Kirk Burrell....
I can't watch this. I can't watch this
I can't watch this. I can't watch this

My my my my TV makes me so bored
Makes me say oh my Lord
What is this garbage here?
Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
It sucks, and that's no lie
It's about as much fun as watching paint dry
Lowers my IQ one notch
And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch

I told you homeboy...I can't watch this
Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know
I can't watch this
Poke out my eyes, man...I can't watch this
Yo, gimme that remote control...I can't watch this

Talkin' bout sick shows
There's America's Funniest Home Videos
I can't believe my eyes
When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
Somebody's poor old mom
Falls down off the roof, lands right on the lawn
Face first on a rake
I hear they got it on the seventeenth take
That's funny as a kick in the crotch
And that kinda show, uh, I can't watch

Yo, I told you...I can't watch this
Change the channel now, man...I can't watch this
Yo, pass the TV Guide over here, sucker...I can't watch this

Cosby show and Roseanne
Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can
Judge Wopner, oh my
You gotta be Rainman to like this guy
Thirtysomething's all right
If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
Can't stand Twin Peaks
Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks
Those Siskel and Ebert bums
Oughtta go home and just sit on their thumbs

That's word because you now...I can't watch this
I can't watch this
Break it down!

Here's how to order-money back guarantee-
Removes tough stains fast-it tastes more like fresh peanuts-
They keep going and going-don't hate me because I'm beautiful-
Could be dandruff-our prices are insaaaane!!!

Stop! Prime time!
I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
Or that guy with the real flat hair
That goes "woof woof woof" and waves
His fist in the air
Or those weird talk shows
About transsexual Nazi Eskimos
They're rude, and crude and vile
Just for a minute let's flip down the dial

Flip, flip, flip...yecch, I can't watch this
Look, man, I can't watch this
I can't take this torture no more, I can't
I can't watch this
Pay the bills, station break
Break it down!

Operators are standing by-cubic zirconium necklace-
You're soaking in it-and our fabulous swimsuit issue-
When you've got a headache this big-read the book-
this is your brain on drugs-I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

Stop! Cable time!
HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV
I might like them more after my lobotomy
Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk
Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A
It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna
Throw my set away

I can't watch this, I can't watch this
I can't watch this, yeah...I can't watch this
I told you...can't watch this
Too hip, can't watch this
Get me outta here...can't watch this


Lyrics submitted by Demau Senae

"I Can't Watch This" as written by Rick James Alonzo Miller

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC

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I Can't Watch This song meanings
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5 Comments

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  • 0
    General Commentparody of "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
    Demau Senaeon March 30, 2001   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthanks for wowing us with your ability to recognize that this song is a parody..no shit..all of weird al's songs are parodies
    demonica713on April 30, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentCalm down. Besides, not all of his songs are paradies. I espicially like the verse where he becomes digusted by America's Funnient Home Videos, and overall, TV viewers obsession to seeing other people in pain, and using it for their entertainment. He also adresses how unfunny a cliche "kick in the crotch" is, and how some of the video's are obviously rehearsed.
    JoshFon March 16, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General Commentone of al's finest hours.
    lil rocker99on May 18, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentdemonica713: FAR from all of his songs are parodies. He (or rather, they) write lots of own material.
    exscape_on June 15, 2007   Link

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