"If I Had A $1000000" as written by Steven Page and Ed Robertson....
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house (maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a k-car (a nice reliant automobile)

And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had a million dollars you could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had a million dollars maybe we could put a little tiny refrigerator in there somewhere
(You know we could just go up the and hang out)
(Like open the fridge and stuff and, girl, there'd be foods laid out for us)
(With little pre-wrapped sausages and things, hmm)
(They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon)
(Can you blame them? Yeah)

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you an exotic pet (yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (all them crazy elephant bones)

And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars we wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner
(But we would eat Kraft dinner)
(Of course we would, we'd just eat more)
(And buy really expensive ketchups with it)
(That's right, all the fanciest dijon ketchups, hmm)

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?!)

If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars
I'd be rich


Lyrics submitted by ojms

"If I Had a $1,000,000" as written by Steven Page Ed Robertson

Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

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If I Had A $1000000 song meanings
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57 Comments

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  • +1
    General CommentIt's a terrific song and very playful as the other posters have said. It seemed a little "strange" at first to have a couple of guys go back and forth on this song, but that's what makes it so good.

    Anyways, the band I'm in has worked this into our shows too. We figured if a couple of guys who are non-gay (ie. Steven and Ed) could get away with performing this, so could a couple of opposite-sex siblings. We'll even ad-lib some "sibling rivalry" jokes into it. All in good fun and taste, that is. Kinda like this song!

    One time, my bro threw in "I'd buy you John Wilkes Booth's remains just to throw me off (I do the "response" vocals on this song).
    Susan_The_BassPlayeon November 28, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentA BNL classic. The original version (this one) is better than the one from Rock Spectacle, although, they are both cool. They just talk about prewrapped bacon in this one, and that makes it so much better.
    weezerific:cutleryon November 25, 2001   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHahaha, Newfoundfinch, you're soooo fun-knee! Come on! please tell me you are not shallow enough to judge a group based on their image. They might not be super models, but they're not ugly. (check their keyboard player)
    At least their songs don't contain swear words, disses to other artists, and are not about exactly the same thing (like, you know, love?)! ! ! ! !
    sarahmansouron May 17, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentJerk. (Newfoundfinch) BNL is the BEST. They are hot, and I love them to death.
    dontlabelmeon June 02, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentJerk. (Newfoundfinch) BNL is the BEST. They are hot, and I love them to death.
    dontlabelmeon June 02, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentThis song is a perfect example of the group's playfulness and witty lyrics. They're a great group of entertainers who don't seem to take too much seriously, the reason why we love them so.
    beatls8on June 04, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commentdoes anyone know the words of this song in the beginning of the version on rock spectacle? i'm tuaght my best not to look like a miner niner? what is that??
    ClockBlinkingEightson June 21, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment Actually, they sing a verse from "this is me in grade " in the version just to taunt the audience. I heard they usually drag into the introduction of "if i had $1000000"
    for fun. (they play the tune but sing something else )

    The lyrics are:
    I got a blue and white adidas bag
    I've got a blue-and-red Adidas bag and a humongous binder
    I'm trying my best not to look like a minor niner
    I went out for the football team to prove that I'm a man
    I guess I shouldn't tell them that I like Duran Duran
    SilentWitnesson June 21, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commentand to the hypocrite who expects beauty in musicians: listen to pop music or be quiet.

    They are just regular guys with little fashion sense.
    SilentWitnesson June 21, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentShiverForMe...are you serious that you didn't know that we use dollars in canada? ..shame, shame what did you think we used?

    Great song! Makes me happy!
    *mLe*on July 04, 2002   Link

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