"And That's How I Beat Shaq" as written by Brian Anthony Kierulf and Joshua M. Schwartz....
And it goes, and it goes
And it goes a little something like this

Hit it!
Aaron's in the house
Come on
Get up get up
I want to make it bounce
Here we go
Aaron's in the house
Get up get up
Aaron's in the house

Yo guys, check it out
Guess what happened to me
(Another crazy story, come on AC)
I was hanging at the court
Just playing some ball
Working on my game
(Yeah, we heard it all)
I heard the fans screaming
I thought it was for me

But then I saw a shadow
It was twelve foot three
It was Shaquile O'Neal
(What? What did he say?)
(How 'bout some one-on-one, do you want to play?)
I told him why not, I got some time
But when I beat you real bad
Try not to cry

(Please Aaron, are you for real?)
(One-on-one with Shaquile O'Neal?)
Yeah, 34 Centre from the L.A. Lakers
(You must've been nervous)
I knew I could take him
Stared' at Shaq, psyche him out
I said O'Neal, you're in my house now
Start the game the whistle blows
Pay attention close 'cause the story goes

It's like boom (boom)
I put it in the hoop
Like slam (slam)
I heard the crowd screaming out jam (jam)
I swear that I'm telling you the facts
'Cause that's how I beat Shaq

It's like boom (boom)
I put it in the hoop
Like slam (slam)
I heard the crowd screaming out jam (jam)
I swear that I'm telling you the facts
'Cause that's how I beat Shaq

So check it out
I thought I had the lead
But then he started scoring mad points on me
I was scorin' the bricks
Was he hitting those shots?
I knew that there was a way that I could make it stop

I had a plan, that I could change the pace
I said, Yo Shaq you didn't tie your shoelace
He looked down, I stole the ball
I'm taking him to school now, watch me all
A 3-pointer, nothing but net
Come on Shaq, had enough yet?
Down by two, I'm catching up
I guess your getting nervous
'Cause you already lost

It's like boom (boom)
I put it in the hoop
Like slam (slam)
I heard the crowd screaming out jam (jam)
I swear that I'm telling you the facts
'Cause that's how I beat Shaq

Dunk after dunk
Jam after jam
Cheerleaders are cheering
Aaron's the man

Dunk after dunk
Jam after jam
Cheerleaders are cheering
Aaron's the man

Announcers were shocked
Couldn't believe it was real
(I can't believe a kid just stuffed O'Neal)
One more second, was all that remained
I put the ball up
I put him in shame
I must admit that it sounds real crazy
but the ball went in
Then he cried like a baby
Sorry Shaq, I should've let you win
You're good too
And we can still be friends

The fans went nuts
They put me on their shoulders
Then I heard a voice
And it sounded like my mother's

(Get up for school, you're gonna be late!)
Ma, can't you see that I'm playing the game?
(How you could be playing if you're still in bed?)
(Are you gettin' sick, did you hit your head?)
Aw, man it was all a dream
I guess that kinda thing could never happen to me

If it was a dream and it wasn't real

How'd I get a jersey with the name O'Neal?
Woah

It's like boom (boom)
I put it in the hoop
Like slam (slam)
I heard the crowd screaming out jam (jam)
I swear that I'm telling you the facts
'Cause that's how I beat Shaq

It's like boom (boom)
I put it in the hoop
Like slam (slam)
I heard the crowd screaming out jam (jam)
I swear that I'm telling you the facts
'Cause that's how I beat Shaq


Lyrics submitted by Ice

"That's How I Beat Shaq" as written by Joshua M. Schwartz Brian Anthony Kierulf

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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And That's How I Beat Shaq song meanings
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17 Comments

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  • +1
    My InterpretationAlthough in the literate sense, the song is about leaving a loved one, my belief is that this song is about AC trying to convince himself that he's leaving someone... something from his life. In my opinion, he is trying real hard to drop his addiction to basketball (which is usually referred to as a female, someone who never leaves your side when you're downlow... b-ball makes you, or at least, is consumed by addicts to forget things, etc.). His repeated use of saying "That's how I beat Shaq" is the piece, or phrase, should I say, that is what makes the listener realize, he's convincing himself (someone who truly beats someone/something would be more like "I beat Shaq" and that's it.). But he's trailing on it, he's looking back to see if he really beat Shaq... He's mentally saying to himself "I really beat Shaq. That's right, I really beat Shaq..."

    Yeah, that's at least what I understand from this song.
    The arrangement is awesome, Gotta love AC.
    decipherer12on August 30, 2010   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWOW! THIS SONG IS SO DEEP. I CRY EVERTIME I HEAR IT, IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. I wish I had the brillanice it takes to write a song like this. Some day I would like to meet this Aaron Carter. Mind blowing is all I can really say about this song. WOW.
    rubberneck_26on May 02, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commenthmm the title of this song is kind of ironic because i wrote a song called "And That's How I Beat The Hell Out Of Aaron Carter With A Tire Iron". Though the lyrics don't match the quality of Aaron's, if i may say, masterpiece. My song just basically consists of me screaming "I beat the hell out of Aaron Carter with a tire iron" over and over again, its more of an emotional piece.
    BecauseTylerKnowson July 02, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI wanna beat the crap outta aaron carter (BUM BUM BUM, BUMBUM) With a lead pipe (bum bum bum bumbum)
    Slap Happy Squirrelon July 03, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commentaaron carter, u shithead, i hope u die. stop trying 2 rap, UR WHITE! OK, UR WHITE AND UR AN ASSHOLE, NO MATTER HOW HARD U TRY UR ALWAYS GONNA BE A LAME WHITE GUY! and i hope u guys no that this little fuck doesnt write any of his songs, little bitch.
    Bickleon August 15, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentHey bickle, u shithead, I hope u realize aaron can't really read this. I don't think the little fuck has time to care about what you think about him, little bitch.

    What?? I can be immature to!
    SilentWitnesson September 14, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI almost cry when I read this.
    Disposition_987on March 22, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentBloody hell this is the funniest stuff I"ve ever read.

    I love you internet.
    psychochickenon March 30, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI shed tears the first time (and gladly the last time) i heard this song. How can a horrible singer get away with singing such horribly put together lyrics?
    Zeph1on June 18, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General CommentLine 10 of verse 2 should read:
    I'm taking him to school now watch me all.
    Dante37on October 21, 2004   Link

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