This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Mm, you don't understand now because you're cryin', and you hurt
You'll understand soon enough, soon enough
You're my best friend's sister, grown woman and all
But you see how I am around girls, I ruin 'em all
Plus your mom call me son, around you since I was small
Shit I watched you mature, nah, this ain't right
But still when your boyfriend ditched you, life's a bitch you cried
Over my right shoulder I told you to wipe your eyes
Take your time when you likin' a guy
'Cause if he sense that your feelings too intense, it's pimp or die
I bought you earrings on your birthday
Drove you to college your first day
It must be sad, though it hurts to say
We could never be a item, don't even like him
You deserve better, this is ugly, Gina, please don't love me
There's better guys out there other than me
Like a lawyer or a doctor with a Ph.D
Think of how upset your mother and brother would be
If they found that you was huggin' me
My conscience is fuckin' with me
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
Man, I look in the eyes of our, this
Our kid, this whole life we made together
Tryin', really tryin' to make it work
We're young, and I ain't ready, and I told you
It ain't like, I ain't tell you from day one, I ain't shit
When it comes to relationships, I don't have the patience
Now it's too late, we got a little life together
And in my mind I really want you to be my wife forever
But in the physical it's like I'ma be trife forever
A different girl every night forever, told you to leave
But you're stubborn and you love him and
No matter what despite all the fuckin' and the cheatin'
You still won't leave him, now you're grievin'
And I feel bad, believe me
But I'm young and I ain't ready, and this ain't easy
Wasn't fair to tell you to wait, so I told you to skate
You chose not to, now look at the shit we gotta go through
Don't wanna fight, don't wanna fuss, you the mother of my baby
I don't want you to hate me, this is about us
Rather me, I ain't ready to be what you want me to be
Because I love you, I want you to leave, please
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
Mm, listen ma
I mean, I seen you workin' two or three jobs
Daddy left, I thought I was makin' things better
I made it worse
Dear ma, I'm in the cell, lonely as hell
Writin' this scribe, thinkin' 'bout how you must feel inside
You tried to teach me better, but I refused to grow
God damn I ain't the young man that you used to know
You said the street claim lives, but I wanted things like
Bling bling ice, I was wrong in hindsight
Shit we grew apart, try to blame it on your new spouse
I know it hurt like hell the day you kicked me out
But your house is your house, I ain't respect the rules
I brought crack past your door, beefed with rival crews
And who wants to be the mother of a son who sold drugs
Co-workers saw me on the corner slingin' Larry Love
Meanwhile, you workin' hard like, two or three jobs
Tryin' to feed me and my siblings, makin' an honest livin'
Who am I kiddin' I, call myself easin' the load
I made the load heavy, I need money for commissary
Try to understand, please
(let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
You'll understand soon enough, soon enough
You're my best friend's sister, grown woman and all
But you see how I am around girls, I ruin 'em all
Plus your mom call me son, around you since I was small
Shit I watched you mature, nah, this ain't right
But still when your boyfriend ditched you, life's a bitch you cried
Over my right shoulder I told you to wipe your eyes
Take your time when you likin' a guy
'Cause if he sense that your feelings too intense, it's pimp or die
I bought you earrings on your birthday
Drove you to college your first day
It must be sad, though it hurts to say
We could never be a item, don't even like him
You deserve better, this is ugly, Gina, please don't love me
There's better guys out there other than me
Like a lawyer or a doctor with a Ph.D
Think of how upset your mother and brother would be
If they found that you was huggin' me
My conscience is fuckin' with me
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
Man, I look in the eyes of our, this
Our kid, this whole life we made together
Tryin', really tryin' to make it work
We're young, and I ain't ready, and I told you
It ain't like, I ain't tell you from day one, I ain't shit
When it comes to relationships, I don't have the patience
Now it's too late, we got a little life together
And in my mind I really want you to be my wife forever
But in the physical it's like I'ma be trife forever
A different girl every night forever, told you to leave
But you're stubborn and you love him and
No matter what despite all the fuckin' and the cheatin'
You still won't leave him, now you're grievin'
And I feel bad, believe me
But I'm young and I ain't ready, and this ain't easy
Wasn't fair to tell you to wait, so I told you to skate
You chose not to, now look at the shit we gotta go through
Don't wanna fight, don't wanna fuss, you the mother of my baby
I don't want you to hate me, this is about us
Rather me, I ain't ready to be what you want me to be
Because I love you, I want you to leave, please
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
Mm, listen ma
I mean, I seen you workin' two or three jobs
Daddy left, I thought I was makin' things better
I made it worse
Dear ma, I'm in the cell, lonely as hell
Writin' this scribe, thinkin' 'bout how you must feel inside
You tried to teach me better, but I refused to grow
God damn I ain't the young man that you used to know
You said the street claim lives, but I wanted things like
Bling bling ice, I was wrong in hindsight
Shit we grew apart, try to blame it on your new spouse
I know it hurt like hell the day you kicked me out
But your house is your house, I ain't respect the rules
I brought crack past your door, beefed with rival crews
And who wants to be the mother of a son who sold drugs
Co-workers saw me on the corner slingin' Larry Love
Meanwhile, you workin' hard like, two or three jobs
Tryin' to feed me and my siblings, makin' an honest livin'
Who am I kiddin' I, call myself easin' the load
I made the load heavy, I need money for commissary
Try to understand, please
(let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
(Let him hold you, let him touch you)
(Soon you'll understand)
Add your thoughts
Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.
Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!
More Featured Meanings
The Night We Met
Lord Huron
Lord Huron
When We Were Young
Blink-182
Blink-182
This is a sequel to 2001's "Reckless Abandon", and features the band looking back on their clumsy youth fondly.
Magical
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
How would you describe the feeling of being in love? For Ed Sheeran, the word is “Magical.” in HIS three-minute album opener, he makes an attempt to capture the beauty and delicacy of true love with words. He describes the magic of it all over a bright Pop song produced by Aaron Dessner.
Head > Heels
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
“Head > Heels” is a track that aims to capture what it feels like to experience romance that exceeds expectations. Ed Sheeran dedicates his album outro to a lover who has blessed him with a unique experience that he seeks to describe through the song’s nuanced lyrics.
Plastic Bag
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
“Plastic Bag” is a song about searching for an escape from personal problems and hoping to find it in the lively atmosphere of a Saturday night party. Ed Sheeran tells the story of his friend and the myriad of troubles he is going through. Unable to find any solutions, this friend seeks a last resort in a party and the vanity that comes with it.
“I overthink and have trouble sleepin’ / All purpose gone and don’t have a reason / And there’s no doctor to stop this bleedin’ / So I left home and jumped in the deep end,” Ed Sheeran sings in verse one. He continues by adding that this person is feeling the weight of having disappointed his father and doesn’t have any friends to rely on in this difficult moment. In the second verse, Ed sings about the role of grief in his friend’s plight and his dwindling faith in prayer. “Saturday night is givin’ me a reason to rely on the strobe lights / The lifeline of a promise in a shot glass, and I’ll take that / If you’re givin’ out love from a plastic bag,” Ed sings on the chorus, as his friend turns to new vices in hopes of feeling better.
damn good song