You watch me on your TV.
Say that my job is easy.
Say I am not athletic.
You think my sport's pathetic.

But you can't judge me 'till you walked a mile in my bowling shoes.

So I don't get all the ladies.
And my clothes are from the 80's
I am known throughout the valleys.
As the prophet of alleys.

And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god.
The smell of rosin gets my high.
Kiss those f---in' pins goodbye!
I am mighty Malachi, the bowling... the bowling... god.

Got a ball that's smooth and all black.
I keep it in my favorite ball-sac.
I get a feeling in my soul.
As I finger every hole.

And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god.
The smell of rosin gets my high.
Kiss those f---in' pins goodbye!
I am mighty Malachi, the bowling... the bowling...

Not a single men will try, to beat almighty Malachi.
All that challenge me are slain.
Come on, f---ers pick a lane.
Marshall Holman and Gary Dickens, get in line for your ass kickins'.
John Petraglia, Norm Duke, you're so lame it makes me puke.
Who among the pro-bowl sector
Dares to don his wrist protector.
Not that pussy Nelson Burton, tells me that his wrist is hurtin'.
Hey Mark Walfey, Earl the Pearl, are ya' scared to give the ball a hurl?
How bout' Dicky Weber and his son Pete? I'll turn the motha fuckas to cream of wheat!

And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I'm Almighty Malachi, the bowling god.
The smell of rosin gets my high.
Kiss those f---in' pins goodbye!
I am mighty Malachi, the bowling... bowling... ohhhhh!
The bowling god!!


Lyrics submitted by bobplaz, edited by AngelSwordAF

Bowling Song song meanings
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11 Comments

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  • +1
    General Commentthis is an amazing song lol, but i believe one line in the lyrics needs correction:

    \"Oh I\'m on the pro-bowl sector.
    There\'s to Don his wrist protector.\"

    should be:

    \"Who among the pro bowl sector,
    Dares to dawn his wrist protector?\"

    Other than that, great job, and great song
    Eclipsuson April 23, 2005   Link
  • +1
    Lyric CorrectionA lot of these lyrics are incorrect.

    [Marshall Holman] and Gary Dickens, get in line for your ass kickin's.
    {John Petraglia], [Norm Duke], [you're] so lame it, makes me puke.
    [Who among] the pro bowl secot
    [Dares] to don his wrist protector.
    Not that pussy Nelson Burton, tells me that his wrist is hurtin'.
    Hey Mark Walfey, Earl the Pearl, are ya' scared to give the ball a hurl?
    How 'bout [Dicky Weber] and his son, Pete? I'll turn the motha fuckas to cream of wheat!
    AngelSwordAFon October 09, 2011   Link
  • +1
    Lyric CorrectionAlso…
    The smell of rosin gets my high.
    AngelSwordAFon October 09, 2011   Link
  • 0
    General CommentVery very funny. I think it would be funnier if we knew who all these bowlers are. :)
    bobplazon July 23, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI don't think it's funny at all, but I love this song!
    Psykopijon Snowballon April 24, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis song is so funny and great even if u don't know the bowlers
    punkrock9876on July 01, 2003   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthis song is actually called almighy malachi, professional bowling god...
    tjwellson September 23, 2004   Link
  • 0
    General Commentits called "Bowling Song (Almighty Malachi, Professional Bowling God)"
    but still, damn funny.
    ninjamonkeyson March 03, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General Commentoh! haha i spelled don wrong... its not dawn...

    and i believe, correct me now if im wrong, this song is about a bowler named Malachi ;)
    Eclipsuson April 23, 2005   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI feel so bad for him... I dl'd his original singing of this on the Opie and Anthony show and oh man... they ripped him a new one. It just wasn't funny. It's funnier now that he can joke about it.
    Vero4902on August 25, 2005   Link

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