This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Every finger in the room
Is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being in
Chains, oh oh oh
Chains, oh oh oh
Got a kick for a dog
Begging for love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says, "Will you ever learn?
You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird"
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start
My own religion
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
I crucify myself
Every day
I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being in
Chains, oh oh oh
Chains, oh oh oh
Please be
Save me
I cry
Looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Where are those angels
When you need them
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
I crucify myself
Every day
I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being in
Chains, oh oh oh
Chains
Why do we, in chains (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Crucify ourselves, everyday (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Oh, chains, oh yeah (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Yeah, chains (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Never going back again, no (why do we crucify ourselves?)
To crucify myself again, you know (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Never going back again
To crucify myself, everyday
Is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being in
Chains, oh oh oh
Chains, oh oh oh
Got a kick for a dog
Begging for love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says, "Will you ever learn?
You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird"
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start
My own religion
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
I crucify myself
Every day
I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being in
Chains, oh oh oh
Chains, oh oh oh
Please be
Save me
I cry
Looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Where are those angels
When you need them
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
And nothing I do is good enough for you
I crucify myself
Every day
I crucify myself
And my heart is sick of being
I said my heart is sick of being in
Chains, oh oh oh
Chains
Why do we, in chains (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Crucify ourselves, everyday (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Oh, chains, oh yeah (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Yeah, chains (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Never going back again, no (why do we crucify ourselves?)
To crucify myself again, you know (why do we crucify ourselves?)
Never going back again
To crucify myself, everyday
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