I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
(Calling all cars, calling all cars
Be on the lookout for a tall light-skinned brother with dimples
Wearing a black Kangol, sweatsuit, gold chain, and sneakers
Last seen on Farmers Boulevard heading east
Alias LL Cool J, he's bad)
Ah
No rapper can rap quite like I can
I'll take a musclebound man and put his face in the sand
Not the last Mafioso, I'm a MC cop
Make you say, "Go LL" and do the Wop
If you think you can out rhyme me, yeah, boy, I bet
'Cause I ain't met a motherfucker who can do that yet
Trendsetter, I'm better, my rhymes are good
I got a gourmet plate that says "I wish you would"
And when battles begin then I gotta join in and
Before my rhyme is over, you know I'ma win
Cool J has arrived, so you better make way
Ask anybody in the crowd, they say the kid don't play
Slaughter competition, that's my hobby and job
I don't wear a disguise because I don't owe the mob
Got a pinpoint rap that makes you feel trapped
So many girls on my jock, I think my phone is tapped
I'm bad
Cool J
Cool J (yeah)
Cool J
Cool J
Cool J
Cool J-J-J-J
I'm like Tyson, icin', I'm a soldier at war
I'm makin' sure you don't try to battle me no more
Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years and
Even when I'm braggin', I'm bein' sincere
MC's can't win, I make 'em rust like tin
They call me Jaws, my hat is like a shark's fin
Because I'm bad as can be, got my voice on wax
Some brothers think he's making records, now he must have relaxed
I couldn't, I shouldn't, and it'll stay that way
The best rapper you've heard is LL Cool J
Kamikaze, take a look at what I've done
Used to rock in my basement, now I'm number one
And can happen on time, never standin' on line
You wanna try me? First you better learn how to rhyme
I'm the pinnacle, that means I reign supreme
And I'm notorious, I'll crush you like a jellybean
I'm bad
(Suspect was last spotted with three other members of his group
Bobcat, E Love and the Cut Creator
They are extremely bad, so keep your eyes open
Use extreme caution)
I eliminate punks, cut 'em up in chunks
You were souped, you heard me, and your ego shrunk
I'm devastating, I'm so good it's a shame
'Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal, they call me insane
I'm as strong as a bull, of course you know I have pull
I enjoy what I'm doin', plus I'm paid in full
Not Buckaroo Bonsai but bust it out as I
Say the kind of rhymes that make MC's wish that I died
Never retire or put my mic on the shelf
The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself
Not bitter or mad, just provin' I'm bad
You want a hit? Give me a hour, plus a pen and a pad
MC's retreat, 'cause they know I can beat 'em
And eat 'em in a battle and the ref won't cheat 'em
I'm the baddest, takin' out all rookies
So forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies
I'm bad
Cool J
Cool J (ha)
Cool J (come and get it)
Cool J-J-J
Cool J-J-J
Never ever, no, never (Cool J)
Never wearin' no Levis, battle me, why try?
I'll treat you like a stepchild, so tell mommy "bye-bye"
Slaughterin' MC's and I'ma never get whipped
When I retire, I'll get worshipped like a old battleship
LL, I'm bad, all the rappers know
When I enter the center they say, "Yo, yo there he go"
My paycheck's large, Mr. Bogart in charge
Not a puncher or a hunter from a raccoon lodge
The original Todd, teachin' how to be hard
Take the skin off a snake, and split a pea from a pod
You're a novice, I'm noble, and I decipher my tongue
Not Atilla the Hun, nor Abdullah his son
My vocals exact like rack and pinion in a Jag
You try to brag, you get your rhymes from a grab-bag
No good scavenger, catfish vulture
My tongue's a chisel and this composition's sculpture
I'm bad
(Think I'm gonna need backup
I think I'm gonna need backup)
(Gimme that walkie-talkie
Yo, this is L.L. Cool J
And you'll never catch me, so don't even try it
'Cause I'm too bad for ya, understand?
I'm bad
Be on the lookout for a tall light-skinned brother with dimples
Wearing a black Kangol, sweatsuit, gold chain, and sneakers
Last seen on Farmers Boulevard heading east
Alias LL Cool J, he's bad)
Ah
No rapper can rap quite like I can
I'll take a musclebound man and put his face in the sand
Not the last Mafioso, I'm a MC cop
Make you say, "Go LL" and do the Wop
If you think you can out rhyme me, yeah, boy, I bet
'Cause I ain't met a motherfucker who can do that yet
Trendsetter, I'm better, my rhymes are good
I got a gourmet plate that says "I wish you would"
And when battles begin then I gotta join in and
Before my rhyme is over, you know I'ma win
Cool J has arrived, so you better make way
Ask anybody in the crowd, they say the kid don't play
Slaughter competition, that's my hobby and job
I don't wear a disguise because I don't owe the mob
Got a pinpoint rap that makes you feel trapped
So many girls on my jock, I think my phone is tapped
I'm bad
Cool J
Cool J (yeah)
Cool J
Cool J
Cool J
Cool J-J-J-J
I'm like Tyson, icin', I'm a soldier at war
I'm makin' sure you don't try to battle me no more
Got concrete rhymes, been rappin' for ten years and
Even when I'm braggin', I'm bein' sincere
MC's can't win, I make 'em rust like tin
They call me Jaws, my hat is like a shark's fin
Because I'm bad as can be, got my voice on wax
Some brothers think he's making records, now he must have relaxed
I couldn't, I shouldn't, and it'll stay that way
The best rapper you've heard is LL Cool J
Kamikaze, take a look at what I've done
Used to rock in my basement, now I'm number one
And can happen on time, never standin' on line
You wanna try me? First you better learn how to rhyme
I'm the pinnacle, that means I reign supreme
And I'm notorious, I'll crush you like a jellybean
I'm bad
(Suspect was last spotted with three other members of his group
Bobcat, E Love and the Cut Creator
They are extremely bad, so keep your eyes open
Use extreme caution)
I eliminate punks, cut 'em up in chunks
You were souped, you heard me, and your ego shrunk
I'm devastating, I'm so good it's a shame
'Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal, they call me insane
I'm as strong as a bull, of course you know I have pull
I enjoy what I'm doin', plus I'm paid in full
Not Buckaroo Bonsai but bust it out as I
Say the kind of rhymes that make MC's wish that I died
Never retire or put my mic on the shelf
The baddest rapper in the history of rap itself
Not bitter or mad, just provin' I'm bad
You want a hit? Give me a hour, plus a pen and a pad
MC's retreat, 'cause they know I can beat 'em
And eat 'em in a battle and the ref won't cheat 'em
I'm the baddest, takin' out all rookies
So forget Oreos, eat Cool J cookies
I'm bad
Cool J
Cool J (ha)
Cool J (come and get it)
Cool J-J-J
Cool J-J-J
Never ever, no, never (Cool J)
Never wearin' no Levis, battle me, why try?
I'll treat you like a stepchild, so tell mommy "bye-bye"
Slaughterin' MC's and I'ma never get whipped
When I retire, I'll get worshipped like a old battleship
LL, I'm bad, all the rappers know
When I enter the center they say, "Yo, yo there he go"
My paycheck's large, Mr. Bogart in charge
Not a puncher or a hunter from a raccoon lodge
The original Todd, teachin' how to be hard
Take the skin off a snake, and split a pea from a pod
You're a novice, I'm noble, and I decipher my tongue
Not Atilla the Hun, nor Abdullah his son
My vocals exact like rack and pinion in a Jag
You try to brag, you get your rhymes from a grab-bag
No good scavenger, catfish vulture
My tongue's a chisel and this composition's sculpture
I'm bad
(Think I'm gonna need backup
I think I'm gonna need backup)
(Gimme that walkie-talkie
Yo, this is L.L. Cool J
And you'll never catch me, so don't even try it
'Cause I'm too bad for ya, understand?
I'm bad
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Great version of a great song,
No Surprises
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This song made me switch from Oreos to Cool J cookies.
Despite Def Jam's sparse production common to LL Cool J's records, his battle-style rhymes stand out as perhaps the best recorded. Starting with a fierce statement, "No rapper can rap quite like I can," and alluding to Charles Atlas advertisements, except turning it around and putting the physical prowess down, we're in for a deft lyrical ride.
You can imagine him tugging on his gold nameplate, wishing you would. Eating is a motif, in which he is called Jaws, and he partakes in cannibalism, evocative of the fierceness emanating from his mouth. This is topped off by referencing food, Cool J Cookies, in which you receive his lyrics and are completely satisfied.
He says when he retires he will be worshipped, but previously says he will never retire. His longevity in this genre is a testament to his skill.
It is unfortunate that most of the rest of the album does not really stand up with this song, but rather rehashing many of the same themes from his first album.