This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
It was my fault
My move, and my game
If I'd've known
A little more
I'd've run away
It was dark out
And I held the cards
I was the dealer
It wasn't hard
Mistress of my fate
I was the card shark
If I'd've looked
A little ahead
I'd've run away
I was the mistress
Of my fate
I was the turn-out
If I'd really know you then
You'd've had to watch out
You'd've had to watch out
It was my fault, my move
And my wine
I see the sundown
And it still shines
Oh, but it was dark out
And I held the cards!
I was the dealer
And it was't hard
I was the mistress
Of my fate
I was the card shark
Jesse told me at an early age
I could get away!
I was the mistress
Of my fate
I gave it all out
If I'd really known you then
You'd have had to watch out
Watch out!
I'll be the dancer
You'll be the player
I'll dance around you
If you'll stay here
I'll be the passion
You'll be the play
I'll just almost hold you
If you'll just almost stay here
I'll just almost hold you
If you'll just almost stay here!
I was the mistress
Of my fate!
I was the card shark, oh!
If I'd've looked
A little ahead
I'd've run away, yeah
I was the mistress
Of my fate
I gave it all out
If I'd really known you then
You'd've had to watch out
Mistress of my fate
I was the mistress of my fate
I was the mistress of my fate
I gave it all out
My move, and my game
If I'd've known
A little more
I'd've run away
It was dark out
And I held the cards
I was the dealer
It wasn't hard
Mistress of my fate
I was the card shark
If I'd've looked
A little ahead
I'd've run away
I was the mistress
Of my fate
I was the turn-out
If I'd really know you then
You'd've had to watch out
You'd've had to watch out
It was my fault, my move
And my wine
I see the sundown
And it still shines
Oh, but it was dark out
And I held the cards!
I was the dealer
And it was't hard
I was the mistress
Of my fate
I was the card shark
Jesse told me at an early age
I could get away!
I was the mistress
Of my fate
I gave it all out
If I'd really known you then
You'd have had to watch out
Watch out!
I'll be the dancer
You'll be the player
I'll dance around you
If you'll stay here
I'll be the passion
You'll be the play
I'll just almost hold you
If you'll just almost stay here
I'll just almost hold you
If you'll just almost stay here!
I was the mistress
Of my fate!
I was the card shark, oh!
If I'd've looked
A little ahead
I'd've run away, yeah
I was the mistress
Of my fate
I gave it all out
If I'd really known you then
You'd've had to watch out
Mistress of my fate
I was the mistress of my fate
I was the mistress of my fate
I gave it all out
Lyrics submitted by oofus, edited by Mellow_Harsher
Add your thoughts
Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.
Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!
More Featured Meanings
The Night We Met
Lord Huron
Lord Huron
Bron-Y-Aur Stomp
Led Zeppelin
Led Zeppelin
This is about bronies. They communicate by stomping.
Gentle Hour
Yo La Tengo
Yo La Tengo
This song was originally written by a guy called Peter Gutteridge. He was one of the founders of the "Dunedin Sound" a musical scene in the south of New Zealand in the early 80s. From there it was covered by "The Clean" one of the early bands of that scene (he had originally been a member of in it's early days, writing a couple of their best early songs). The Dunedin sound, and the Clean became popular on american college radio in the mid to late 80s. I guess Yo La Tengo heard that version.
Great version of a great song,
Head > Heels
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
“Head > Heels” is a track that aims to capture what it feels like to experience romance that exceeds expectations. Ed Sheeran dedicates his album outro to a lover who has blessed him with a unique experience that he seeks to describe through the song’s nuanced lyrics.
Plastic Bag
Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
“Plastic Bag” is a song about searching for an escape from personal problems and hoping to find it in the lively atmosphere of a Saturday night party. Ed Sheeran tells the story of his friend and the myriad of troubles he is going through. Unable to find any solutions, this friend seeks a last resort in a party and the vanity that comes with it.
“I overthink and have trouble sleepin’ / All purpose gone and don’t have a reason / And there’s no doctor to stop this bleedin’ / So I left home and jumped in the deep end,” Ed Sheeran sings in verse one. He continues by adding that this person is feeling the weight of having disappointed his father and doesn’t have any friends to rely on in this difficult moment. In the second verse, Ed sings about the role of grief in his friend’s plight and his dwindling faith in prayer. “Saturday night is givin’ me a reason to rely on the strobe lights / The lifeline of a promise in a shot glass, and I’ll take that / If you’re givin’ out love from a plastic bag,” Ed sings on the chorus, as his friend turns to new vices in hopes of feeling better.