"Medical Love Song" as written by and Eric/jones Idle....
Inflammation of the foreskin
Reminds me of your smile
I've had ballanital chancroids
For quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU
That lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling
And I hope you get well soon.

My penile warts, your herpes
My syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infection
How I miss you more and more
You dobie's itch, my scrumpox
Our lovely gonorrhea
At least we both were lying
When we said that we were clear

Our syphilitic kisses
Sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules
With a quick flickof your wrist
Your trichovaginitis
Sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus
When your spirochetes met mine.

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis,
Syphalitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-i-tis.

My clapped out genetalia
Is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure
Every time I try to pee.
My doctor says my buboes
Are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotum's painted orange
And my balls are turning green.

My heart is very tender
Though my parts are awful raw
You might have been infected
But you never were a bore
I'm dying of your love my love
I'm your spirochaetal clown
I've left my body to science
But I'm afraid they've turned it down.

Gonococcal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididimitis, interstitial keratitis,
Syphalitic choroiditis, and anterior u-ve-I-tis.


Lyrics submitted by fallacies

"Medical Love Song" as written by Graham Chapman Eric Idle

Lyrics © BMG RIGHTS MANAGEMENT US, LLC , Universal Music Publishing Group

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Medical Love Song song meanings
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6 Comments

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  • 0
    General Comment.............*gasp*..........that...........wuz..........*gasp*.........the funniest......*gasp*.........thing ive ever........*gasp..........seeeeen.................*heart explodes*
    TheEnemiesHeroon June 21, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentBoy, if there was ever a raging endorsement of safe sex, this is it. Just listening to all those STDs is frightening. It's a funny song, it really is, but it's pretty poignant too (listen to me, psychoanalyzing Monty Python...what's wrong with me?)
    asutboneon September 29, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Commenti cried when i heard this song- i was laffin so hard, im lisnin 2 it now atchly
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
    *collapses onto floor laffing*
    gasp... gaspp....
    *Breathes*
    std's shudnt b funny but hey i found this song v. educational.. scrotal pustules, gonohreaa- im so clued up- now if i cud only stop laffin id find out if they do turn mens balls green... lol lol hahahahahahahahahahahahaxxx

    Ive left my body to science, but i'm afraid theyv turnd it down...
    xxx
    badlilfairyon February 08, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentWritten by Graham Chapman- did he write any others? He had a medical degree, so it's true, write what you know. I've tryed memorizing this one, but it's impossible. GREAT song- one of the treasures most of the world has never heard. The first line draws you in, then you're hooked. (Ouch)
    loderunneron August 18, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentBTW- what does NSU mean?
    loderunneron August 18, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentMinor point, but if you want to look this stuff up (at least in US references, can't vouch for UK spellings), you need some correct spellings, which I think are "balanital", "monilial", "dhobie's", "gonococcal", "balanitis", "meningomyelitis", and "epididymitis".
    NAwlinsContrarianon November 28, 2009   Link

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