Scratch

this is just my interpretation, of how I relate to this song. But I basically I believe this song is her reminiscing on her personal history: childhood innocence, growing up, relationships, the past in general

it's a big girl world now full of big girl things and every day I wish I was small (Growing up, now having responsibilities or a history and realizing how much it sucks, wishing you could go back to the days where everything was simple as a child)

I've been counting on nothing but he keeps giving me his word and I am tired of hearing myself speak (this line relates to her ex saying how much he "loves" her, she knows it isn't true no matter how much he swears it is, even though she wishes it were true or is starting to believe it were true. She keeps acknowledging and repeating back to him, 'you don't actually love me'. She's doesn't believe his insubstantial word/promises and she is tired of repeating herself that it isn't true)

do you get weary? do you ever get weak? how do you dream when you can't fall asleep? (she's basically asking him, 'don't you get sick and tired of lying to me? We both know it isn't true'. How does he have time to sleep/dream when he is up late fabricating lies to her.)

I've been wondering what you're thinking and if you like my dress tonight would you still say you love me under this ordinary moonlight I'm so afraid of what you'll say (She is basically asking for the honest truth or his opinion, what he is truly thinking but is so afraid of what he'll say(the truth). He keeps telling her she is this rare beauty or his one true love and she secretly wants to believe that too. In all honesty she is a normal girl and that's she's just been too available, whats been around for him to prey on.)

I'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch I'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance (She'd like to know if all this stuff he's been telling her is how he truly feels (starting from scratch) or if he is just lonely and wants her companionship that he can build upon their previous relationship/history).

I used to think I was special and only I have proved me wrong (She used to believe she was special, reflecting back to childhood when her parents and/or her ex telling her she's special. but life experience have taught her otherwise, she's ordinary and has proven that she is not special)

I thought I could change the world with a song but I have ended up in India all alone with no map to guide me home the strangest place I think I've ever been (India is a metaphor for escaping from life and truth in some type of way, she went to "India" but has zero guidance there, she has no idea what she is doing. Naively she thought goodwill was enough to change the world or her life. When she realized that it wasn't so, she had to run away from real life. Whether by drugs, alcohol, sex, or any other type of self medication)

and all this time, I thought that we were friends my stubborn will is learning to bend (I believe her ex-lover started out as her best friend, which is why she feels so betrayed, and she is learning to reconstruct her life around losing not only her best friend but lover as well, because she is stubborn and won't give up on life)

I'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch I'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance I'd like to know if you'd be open to starting over from scratch I'd like to know if you'd be open to giving me a second chance ( again she'd like to know the truth and start over without all their history/baggage)

it's a big girl world now full of big girl things and every day I wish I was small (But she realizes how unrealistic that is, referring back to the beginning of the song where she wishes she were a child again with simpler days/thought processes, when that was a possible option)