This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
This is the part of me that needs medication
This is the part of me that believes in heaven
This is the part of me that thinks outer space is all dead
This is the part of me that wishes it was with it
This is the part of me that's trying to be funny
This is the part of me that loves my parents
This is the part of me that thinks that ants are cavemen
This is the part of me that thinks all humans are ants
This is the part of me that learns from sitcoms
This is the part of me that means nothing
And I don't know
Where I could go away and you could wish
That I had stayed or just stayed gone
And I don't know
And I don't know at all
So, out of the context and into what you meant
And you know your reasons
You don't know who you are
But you know who you want to be
I don't know
So you go to the library to get yourself a book
And you look and you look
But you didn't find anything to read
And I don't know at all
Left all my kinder parts rusting and peeling
That guy was complaining as he looked at the ceiling
My nose isn't that big, it looks nothing like me
We're all doctors trading sadness for numbness
Grass looks much greener but it's green-painted cement
The mayor's machines are there cleaning the pavement
You can't make dirt clean so we'll just lemon-scent it
This is the part of me that believes in heaven
This is the part of me that thinks outer space is all dead
This is the part of me that wishes it was with it
This is the part of me that's trying to be funny
This is the part of me that loves my parents
This is the part of me that thinks that ants are cavemen
This is the part of me that thinks all humans are ants
This is the part of me that learns from sitcoms
This is the part of me that means nothing
And I don't know
Where I could go away and you could wish
That I had stayed or just stayed gone
And I don't know
And I don't know at all
So, out of the context and into what you meant
And you know your reasons
You don't know who you are
But you know who you want to be
I don't know
So you go to the library to get yourself a book
And you look and you look
But you didn't find anything to read
And I don't know at all
Left all my kinder parts rusting and peeling
That guy was complaining as he looked at the ceiling
My nose isn't that big, it looks nothing like me
We're all doctors trading sadness for numbness
Grass looks much greener but it's green-painted cement
The mayor's machines are there cleaning the pavement
You can't make dirt clean so we'll just lemon-scent it
Lyrics submitted by PLANES
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This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
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i think the way this song works is totally awesome. its called medication right? at first it starts off really slow. then it picks up to a euphoric sound, and his, then slows down again. almost like how actual medication works. he has complicating thoughts, takes medicine and becomes happy and oblivious, comes down from the medication and has the complicating thoughts again......just an opinion
this song pretty much draws out the cycles of the bipolar condition.
i think the first part is about just dealing with depression and the detatched, empty, mind of someone who is severly depressed.
i like how in the middle there is a manic phase of upbeatness and then it drops at the end symbolizing the medicated him and how it restrains him from enthusiasm and apathy. he feels neither hapiness or sadness and definatley doesnt feel himself. the medication just makes him as empty as he was when he was depressed...
"trading sadness for numbness"
i think jadetear is right. and at the end where it says "grass looks much greener but it's green-painted cement "
it seems to me that he is saying that things are looking up and looking better "grasslooks much greener" , but they arent really and are still the same problems as before , "but it's green-painted cement "and he uses medication to forget about his problems "you can't make dirt clean so we'll just lemon-scent it"
this is one of my favorite modest mouse songs, at least the top 5
where I could go away and you could wish that I had stayed or just stayed gone Favorite line
woah, jadetear, i never noticed that before, ilove this song even more now
this song shows his oppnion on dpression medication. basically sayin is it better to be on it or off. "trading numbness for sadness" it shows when the music gets all peppy he dosn't make sense and he can't find his "book " and he dosn't care and things are just going... then when he drops off to the slower part he has a negative view but is it better to have a full range of emotions? thats what i got from this song
i joined this site solely to comment on this song. the first time i had heard it i had flushed my medications down the toilet and was lying on the floor... kicking the wall. someone i hardly knew gave me the cd and said to listen to it when i was in need. and this song came on. you want to know what it means? all i know is what i know myself so... the person who said it was like medication is right. i mean. you wake up and your day starts pretty shitty. you take a shower. brush your teeth. and avoid taking those pills you're supposed to talk. you sit in your house. on your bed. on your floor. in a chair. on the couch. on your head. everything hits your head at the same time and all you can pick out are fragments of sentences that say things are shit. so you take the pills and wait... and wait... and wait... and slowly... pittering and pattering... comes this orchestra. and everything is grand. and you're sociable. and you still think the same things but they're funny and fluid to you now. things make absolutely no sense but they couldn't be more sensical. and then. then the day wears on. and you maybe see too many people... or you sit in one place for too long... or you eat the apple instead of the orange... and everything stops. and your heart drops. and everything drops. and those underhand softballs thrown at you on when things were goooood are now lacrosse balls on speed hitting you in the groin (or vagina in my case).
maybe i'm wrong. maybe the song is about candy corn and walks through the park and semen(t).
i know i'm right though. anyone who hangs on by the pills some asshole prescribed knows what this song means.
perfect description
I definitely think this song is about being Bipolar.
"This is the part of me that needs medication..." (etc.) is when you're depressed. You realize you're depressed and it's somewhat unbearable, and you feel medication is the only way to help.
Then, when the song starts getting really upbeat, it describes a Bipolar person's mania perfectly. Totally manic and crazy and thinking nothing's wrong, and you just "don't know". You don't know why you're as happy (or manic/crazy) as you are at the moment, you just are. Your thoughts race and you're going 100 miles an hour.
Then suddenly, you start to slow down again. Crash, almost. This is towards the ending of the song, when it starts to slow down again. You're just too low again.
idk, that's how it is for me, and what I got out of the song. ha
Anyone who has struggled with Benzo or amphetamine addiction will understand this song in an instant. The song itself plays out exactly as medication does, at first you feel like shit before it kicks, and then there's dazed bliss for a too-short period of time, and then the crash.
Sadness for numbness, these drugs will numb your real emotions, but at least you'll no longer be sad.
I'd also like to point out that the whole "going somewhere to pick something out but wandering around and not finding anything" is on-point with benzo's. Going to the library just to roam around.... classic line.
best MM song..