"Don't Marry Her" as written by Paul Heaton and Dave Rotheray....
Think of you with pipe and slippers
Think of her in bed
Laying there just watching telly
Then think of me instead

I'll never grow so old and flabby
That could never be
Don't marry her, fuck me

And your love light shines like cardboard
But your work shoes are glistening
She's a PhD in "I told you so"
You've a knighthood in "I'm not listening"

She'll grab your sweaty bollocks
Then slowly raise her knee
Don't marry her, fuck me

When the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco Bay
And you know that you can't have it anyway
You gotta wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me

Those lovely Sunday mornings
With breakfast brought in bed
Those blackbirds look like knitting needles
Trying to peck your head

Those birds will peck your soul out
And throw away the key
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the kitchen's always tidy
And the bathroom's always clean
She's a diploma in "just hiding things"
You've a first in "low esteem"

When your socks smell of angels
But your life smells of Brie
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realize you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realize you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me


Lyrics submitted by Forevergreen

"Don't Marry Her" as written by Paul Heaton Dave Rotheray

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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Don't Marry Her song meanings
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12 Comments

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  • +4
    General CommentA great song...I love the line, she's a Ph.D in "I told you so",youv'e a knighthood in "I'm not listening".
    oldfogeyon February 23, 2006   Link
  • +2
    General CommentHaha I agree about the Sandra Bullock = sweaty bollocks thing...I hate the censored version. I think most of the meaning is LOST when they substitute "have" for "fuck".
    I can't believe this song only has one comment!! It's ledge and has some great lines in: "When your socks smell of angels, but your life smells of brie.."
    TFFMOon February 03, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General CommentI agree with most of the comments so far but there's 2 lines i just dont get:
    "Those blackbirds look like knitting needles
    Trying to peck your head"
    it just seems such a random thing 2 put in there. ideas anyone?
    Chocolate_fiendon November 05, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentAbove is the album version as it appears on Blue Is The Colour. For the radio-friendly single version, "Don't marry her, fuck me" became "Don't marry her, have me", while "She'll grab your sweaty bollocks" became "She'll grab your Sandra Bullocks". The single version changes the message of the song, in my opinion, which is a woman saying "Why be married to her with your standard life and standard dreams when me and you can just fuck together and be free?". Plus, of course, Sandra Bullock is my personal lesbian affair fantasy. She should never be likened to sweaty bollocks. Never.
    Forevergreenon May 18, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI actually *preferred* the radio edit. I think a well-placed understatement can say so much more than a full-on dysphemism. There are two ways you can take "have me", of which one is fairly inoffensive, but only one way you can take "fuck me". I've never been a fan of Sandra Bullock anyway, she's a minger.

    I think the woman singing the song is actually the *same* woman that he man to whom she is singing it is thinking of marrying; except in his imagination, as an alternative version of herself. He is afraid that the relationship will turn sour, and is imagining another possibility: a lifetime of casual sex. Don't marry her {what I am going to turn into} -- have {in the sexual sense} me {as I am now}!

    Paul Heaton's lyrics are great. He is just so perceptive.
    bluerizlagirlon May 09, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commenttheres only 4 comments on this song.... :(
    jonnywardon June 25, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentnever heard the censored version, but i love this song so much.
    I kinda agree with blueizlagirl. The two women could be the same. Either way, its a great song.
    CautionarySongon July 26, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI think that the radio_friendly version is better... "Fuck me" line takes away all the emotion of the song. When you say "Have me" it's more emotional, and it implies so much more, than just plain "Fuck me"...

    There's more to life than fucking, right?
    Mukajloon October 09, 2006   Link
  • 0
    General Commentthat fact that they use "fuck" is great. it is implanted in a catchy, poppy song that you'd hear on the radio BUT you couldn't play it on the radio like it is. censoring it ruins the message. and yes, there are female friends who don't want to see their male friends become emasculated by an overbearing shrew and become a pussy-whipped excuse for a man. bad example but close anaology: the whole FRIENDS relationship thing between rachel, ross and emily.
    gregorybrianon March 04, 2007   Link
  • 0
    General CommentI've have ruined so many people's happy childhood memories of this song by playing them the uncensored version.

    The look of shock on their face the first time they hear the real lyrics is quite something.
    schadenfreude87on May 21, 2007   Link

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