| Steely Dan – Deacon Blues Lyrics | 11 years ago |
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Hello Friends, Some of you may find this a little over the top, but I have to do it. After 30 years of listening to this song, I think I have it finally: "This is the day of the expanding man" Visualize The Hulk or some other comic strip character, expanding so much that he bursts out of his clothing, as a completely new being. Our hero is changing so fast that his former lifestyle cannot contain him any longer. "That shape is my shade, There where I used to stand" He has stepped "out of the light" of his former life, but he can still look back and see his shadow. Those are the "old" relationships and routines that are still fresh in his mind. Maybe some guilt or remorse or fear is still haunting him. "It seems like only yesterday, I gazed through the glass, At ramblers, wild gamblers, That's all in the past" He recalls the days when he could only "gaze through the glass", and dream of making the changes he has just decided to make. It was all romance and fantasy, he perceived the world he lusted after as a "wild gamble", not within the realm of anything really possible. "You call me a fool, You say it's a crazy scheme, This one's for real, I already bought the dream" His fantasy has turned into his new reality. He has "bought his dream" with his boldness to step away from his boring, responsible life and take the big chance to be a musician and live the lush life. "So useless to ask me why, Throw a kiss and say goodbye I'll make it this time, I'm ready to cross that fine line" There is no answer to "why". He has to do it, and he knows he will make it. And what is "making it", other than successfully crossing over "that fine line". He has tried before and was unsuccessful. "I'll learn to work the saxophone, and I'll play just what I feel Drink Scotch whiskey all night long, And die behind the wheel" He is not suicidal, oh no. He is caught in the morbid/ romantic imagery of a Charlie Parker, a Billie Holiday, a Jimi Hendrix, a Janis Joplin. A hero of music, who plays or sings with with immortal power. And then dies young, a victim of the ultimate self-destructiveness that was part of his or her vast creative engine. "They got a name for the winners in the world And I want a name when I lose" He knows he is second rate, he will never be a great musician, one of the winners. But he will be a loser who had the courage to be himself, to declare his name against all odds. "They call Alabama the Crimson Tide, Call me Deacon Blues" I believe this is a reference to a college football team that never won a game. It somehow gained a mythic power to its reputation as a loser. You can have a name, even when you lose. "My back to the wall, A victim of laughing chance" His choice is no longer his own, he is a victim of the force of chance, which has him "against the wall", with nowhere else to go. "This is for me, The essence of true romance Sharing the things we know and love, With those of my kind Libations, Sensations, That stagger the mind" A libation is an ancient ritualistic pouring of water on an altar, known to many religions and cultures, and is well documented in the Old Testament. He is pouring out his soul as a "libation service" to his new religion. His new spiritual world is full of sensations that are so powerful and real that they "stagger the mind" "I'll rise when the sun goes down, Cover every game in town A world of my own, I'll make it my home sweet home" As a man of the night, a working musician, he will inhabit a new world, one that he can call his own, because he sets his own goals, works his own schedule, far away from the business world. It will be his new home, where he will feel comfortable, safe and loved. "This is the night of the expanding man" So the day has turned into night. The "day" was the preparation, the drama of the changes he made. The night is the real thing. His first gig as a working musician, now that he has quit his job, severed many relationships, and perhaps has moved to a new town. "I take one last drag, As I approach the stand" One last drag of the spiritual cigarette, the last memory of his former life. Then he puts out the cig, goes up to the bandstand, and he is ready to start a new life. "I cried when I wrote this song, Sue me if I play too long This brother lives free, I'll be what I want to be" Please forgive him the sentimentality of his rare emotional state at his debut, which is likely to be expressed in a sax solo which is much too long to be musically appropriate. However, he wants us to know that he has finally "made it". He is free at last. His long solo will be a testament to his new self. Let's all wish him well. |
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