Recent Journal Entries

  • Friday, May 27th, 2016

    by NoOne\'sPerfect on May 27, 2016

    I cannot wait until the summer. I just love the outdoors, and I want to be outside in the warm sunshine. I love the feeling of the fresh air filling my lungs when I breathe it in. *Sigh* I just hope it doesn't rain a lot. I'd be so disappointed!

    I would do other things other than being outside. Maybe write a song or a story called "Love Will Thaw a Frozen Heart."



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  • There is Nothing Wrong with Me

    by RosesAtSunset on May 27, 2016

    The heart roared with the cheers of the newly elected
    No longer siphoned by the cold and calculated
    Wandering listlessly through the burgs
    Dreaming of chi town
    Living in horse town
    Couldn't cope with cadence
    Couldn't harness templeton
    Your love was all I wanted
    But I didn't care what you wanted
    Your love was all I wanted
    And now I just want to run away to Japan
    But I never learned how to suffer
    And I'm too scared to start now
    Maybe my dreams will never come true
    Sometimes I don't know if I want them to
    Your love was all I wanted
    Now I don't want anything
    And I'm free

    maybe if I free myself
    I can find myself

    may

    be



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  • Sicilian defense

    by CleanLaundry on May 26, 2016

    today I accidently bumped into this one TA I had in this one Bio class I took back in sophomore year. 

    I had a pretty serious (at the time) crush on her. she was 28 which I thought was hot for some reason. she was wicked smart and knew a lot about terrestrial ecology and had eyes that looked vaguely like an ocelot's. I was pretty smitten. 

    one time when we were doing field research in the meadow, she arrived 45 minutes late wearing an indigo Wu Tang Clan tshirt and red poison oak rashes on both wrists. everyone took off pretty quickly after the field trip was done, but I lingered, picking thorns and burs off my socks and side eying her as she transcribed her field notes. I felt like an asswipe, for five silent minutes I tried to tell her how much I loved the song "Da Mystery of Chessboxin'" 

    a year later I ran into her at a friend's gig and she had no recollection of me or my face, which was both confusing and a relief at the same time. the whole thing was surreal. that whole month of my life was surreal. the night of the gig she earnestly asked me to order her a drink: "Svedka with drop of vermouth with a glass of olives on the side." she emphasized the "drop of vermouth" part. "yes ma'am." I felt so grown up. mature. turgid with pride. 

    until later that night:

    "oh my god"

    "what?"

    “you have those fucking glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling.”



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  • A Caricature of Logic

    by RosesAtSunset on May 26, 2016

    Getting to know someone is like taming a wild animal
    We're just glorified animals

    I might've killed the next Hitler
    I might've killed the next Jesus

    Christ

    ---

    stuff i think about when I'm stoned:

    "sometimes all we need to be able to continue alone
    are the dead
    rattling the walls
    that close us in." -Charles Bukowski

    Anxiety that cracks like eggs in your veins
    Sometimes the problem is that you're standing in the chalk art
    Human beings are mold in the tupperware that is earth
    You can take the girl out of the culture
    And you can also take the culture out of the girl
    Culture is not only deep rooted
    It is also transient and fragile
    People want to think their suffering is unique

    Resilience is the answer

    Listening to: You! Me! Dancing! - Los Campesinos!



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  • a camouflaged hunter

    by CleanLaundry on May 23, 2016

    a week full of rocks and thorns has me backing to the depths of my claustrophobic room, back to sending long cathartic emails at 2am to my thesis advisor, to my mother, to my best friend from the 6th grade who is now a wunderkind movie producer.

    some days I'll wake feeling weird and light and hopeful. I'll whistle that talking heads song that my friend once tried to convince me was a love ballad. I'll do laundry, I'll crack my knuckles and work and write and go to the gym.  

    one evening last week I went for a walk in the woods and saw a modern apollo and artemis arguing in the shade of a laurel tree. apollo was sporting an acryllic splattered hoodie, doc martins and dudebro raybans. he had a harmonica hanging from a rope cord around his neck, I kid you not. artemis was beautiful and disheveled and agitated. she was arguing about climate change and picking at her ripped jeans. if wood nymphs were real I swear they'd be flanking her on both sides. apollo pulled a pack of marlboros from his pocket and walked over to me and asked for a lighter, which then provoked artemis to rotate her glare onto me, which provoked me to freeze like a deer. I was scared that she'd call a pack of wolves on me or something.  apollo smirked a subterfuge smirk.

    after I gave him my lighter he said, "it's a blessin to be stressin, my friend. means you're on the right side of the grass."



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  • gale, my beloved accountability partner

    by CleanLaundry on May 15, 2016

    I am baffled in a bar in the middle of the night for what seems like the millionth time. the server behind the counter somehow makes fleet foxes sound good even in the pinnacle of spring. I can almost imagine snow flurries twirling in the cold night outside. in reality it's 76 degrees F but I feel so cozy I could curl up and hibernate right then and there. 

    I'm baffled by the person sitting across from me, the smart but spacey, undervalued girl with the self-cut hair and threadbare tshirt who talks in riddles and loves stray cats.

    something is hibernating in both of us, a fire that is underwater. maybe a year from now we will meet again and we will have overcome whatever is smothering us and become the people we dreamed of being when we were six years old. 



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  • Give your entry a title

    by audreyrose1227 on May 13, 2016

    Just trying this out for the first time...I guess we'll see where this goes. It's a good time to make a songmeanings account because I'm looking for music that's new to me...also I have some interpretations of songs and stuff. It's always interesting to read the comments and others' interpretations as well. That's about it.



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  • Music is Life.

    by FALL1N43VA on May 12, 2016

    I wish music was a person so I could thank it for being in existence, but if it were it wouldnt be so perfect anymore.



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  • From My Heart to My Wife

    by tymerider2 on May 05, 2016

    Part of the struggling class, here in the USA,
    Living check to check, we're on our merry way,
    We take care of two cats and 9 feral TNRs,
    We do a lot of prayin', stay away from all the bars,
    Life can get so crazy, but with you it's more than good,
    We don't waste our time escaping,
    Those ways we tried they left us down,
    Now our faith's in Jesus, good things will all come around,
    We've bid our fears and doubts goodbye we don't care what people say,
    We're headed to a new world, ruled by the King who was slain,
    who died for the sins of all who will believe,
    That name above all others, of whom we'll never be ashamed,
    He's the One who's gonna carry us until we see that brighter Day.
    People might see us in the restaurants when we bow out heads and pray,
    They might hear us talking 'bout Him, maybe hear us when we sing,
    But He's the best thing that's ever happened, and to a world of sinful man,
    Like a serpent on the pole and if people would understand, 
    Their destiny would forever change to one of rejoicing before His throne,
    But that foolish pride we all deal with, will keep most of us far from Him,
    Keep us thinking just how smart we've become, just how far we have evolved,
    But there's no evolution, that's just a scheme the devil made,
    to keep as many as he can from giving to God the credit for all He's made,
    But while we're all still on this short timeline, we can choose what tunnel we will take, 
    To a place where those who have unforgiven sin will be punished,or to that glorious place where those who are forgiven will live.... because of their faith in the One who was punished in their stead,
    I know people get down on us but we didn't make the rules,
    we choose to be a vessel of mercy where most in their pride choose not to,
     
    I'm so thankful baby, that life's battles are shared with you,
    Can you believe we're still alive after all that we've been through? 
    God's sure been merciful to this boy, and it goes without saying,
    the best things He's done for me...... is sharing this life with you.



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  • Love in Terraform

    by idkadrian on May 03, 2016

    Odds intact, tactfully reigning in through your void

    We act so innocent and put on a show like

    We're paranoid, we're paranoid, we're paranoid

    We're paranoid, we're paranoid, we're paranoid

     

    The mind altered, our insistance hadn't faltered

    We were seconds away from home

    We were open to ideas unknown

    I couldn't detonize, or realize

    Because love in terraform

     

    I'm your amenity

    You're the deepest part of my soul

    We were open to ideas unknown

    I couldn't detonize, or realize

    Because love in terraform

     

    Odds intact, tactfully reigning in through your void

    We act so innocent and put on a show like

    We're paranoid, we're paranoid, we're paranoid

    We're paranoid, we're paranoid, we're paranoid

     

    Simply like that, don't stray

    Don't ever take it that far

    The desire to dissipate in a pool of longevity

    We're caught for an instance, it eats us whole

    Or let off the hook and left with uncertainty

    We're caught in those web of lies

    I'm drinking too much and that's alright

    What's come to light wasn't quite alright

     

    The mind altered, our insistance hadn't faltered

    We were seconds away from home

    We were open to ideas unknown

    I couldn't detonize, or realize

    Because love in terraform

     

    I'm your amenity

    You're the deepest part of my soul

    We were open to ideas unknown

    I couldn't detonize, or realize

    Because love in terraform



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  • What We Left Unsaid

    by idkadrian on May 02, 2016

    Don't mean a thing

    Don't mean a God damn thing

    Oh, Lord

    How could you do this?

    I thought we been through this

     

    Distance with a moment

    I thought honestly we'd chosen

    To care within our grain

    You've got scars along your brain

    You've got cause within close range

    You've got scars along your brain



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  • /

    by unpoised on May 02, 2016

    how can i expect you to understand when you live life like it's so run through?

    i am trying to live honestly. i am trying to keep my friends. i am trying to keep my cynicism at bay. people tell me things, but i tell myself i know what's right. i don't know if i do. i don't know how to trust someone to the core.

    i don't know what you're saying just to keep me. or maybe just to keep a safe place. i choose to believe, but you know how i am with decision making.

    you might not have respect for me. you might not feel what you say. but i don't know how to live another way. i felt like a tall, expensive orchid. now i feel like a statue covered in dust, fingerprints from everyone who's ever touched

    me.

    i don't write anymore. and when i do, it feels empty.

    i miss when i thought i wanted to know everything about you. i miss when you wanted to know anything about me.

    i used to only say sorry for things that i should have. now i'm sorry for everything because i don't want to lose you. but i will probably, again, be the fool in the end.

    again and again and again and again



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  • Shallow Reflections.

    by neatocheeto on May 02, 2016

    I can't believe I am here all these years later and doing what? Over thinking boys and their dumb games. But i can't help but think what could be if you stopped needed something more than me. And what I have to offer could potentially make you a better person but I am the bad person for wanting to pursue that side of life. Honestly, honestly, honestly. When you look into my eyes what do you see? I know you see nothing but an explosion of love. I know that because when I i look into your eyes I see the same thing staring back at me. Why deny that explosion? For selfish reasons no doubt. Is it becasue i have more curves than you have ever delt with in your life? Or is it that i am a more direct woman than you have had the pleasure of meeting in your life. It shouldn't matter to me. I was told to drop it by a mutual friend. So its done. Moving on. Moving on to ol Wes. Someone willing to give me their time. I can grow to have feelings for him. What a nightmare. All by my owe doing, of course. What is need is sleep and for it not to be one in the morning and for me not to have these confusing thoughts this late cause i can hardly think straight. Too much loneliness blocks out my pratical ideals. Get with it sister. And, sidenote, thank goodness that the ol older, devoted, married man fiasco is probably for the most part over with. I need to stop being so lazy and get my ass to making descisions. And possibly pulling out a loan for my car bullshit. Jesus. Time to man up and stop bullshitting around. 



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  • Night of the Living Hotel

    by idkadrian on May 01, 2016

    Company's fine with me while they relentlessly

    Watch from here to know exactly what you want

    What you know I need, but you like to disagree

    Half of the time, it's like a mystery

    I could use another good idea, smart one

    I am done, I'm no fun, I'm alone, and I am no one

     

    It's nighttime out the street lights ablaze

    Morning comes and then you've got your day

    In the night, in the night of the living hotel

    Spend it sulking after sex, it's our own hell

    What will we come out with next?

    What will we think of ourselves?

     

    It's nighttime out the street lights ablaze

    Morning comes and then you've got your day

    In the night, in the night of the living hotel

    Spend it sulking after sex, it's our own hell

    What will we come out with next?

    What will we think of ourselves?



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  • Purely Electric

    by idkadrian on April 30, 2016

    Bodies combusting, invade me like a Trojan horse

    They've left it up to us, but you're in denial of course

    We trickle, you're dismal for the moment as you

    We fondle, you're horizontal for the moment as you

    They've left it up to us, but you're in denial of course

     

    Here's the deal, we got no view, or a place so eccentric

    Our mind and body spontaneously kinetic

    Through undivided motion, it was purely electric

    (Our mind and body spontaneously kinetic)

    (Our mind and body spontaneously kinetic)

     

    Youth and intimacy

    Rummage through the gate

    Leave me with a Porter

    Something I would've drank

    Weave a web, an intricacy

    Dick in hand, hand grenade

    Bulletproof they had came

     

    Your version of right from where I stood wrong

    Haven't you heard that I've been too far gone?

    Life outside that bay window has been unkind

    And now you're thinking I'm a waste of time

    I mean, who got you to see what it's like here outside?

     

    Here's the deal, we got no view, or a place so eccentric

    Our mind and body spontaneously kinetic

    Through undivided motion, it was purely electric

    (Our mind and body spontaneously kinetic)

    (Our mind and body spontaneously kinetic)

     

    Here's the deal, we got no view, or a place so eccentric

    Our mind and body spontaneously kinetic

    Through undivided motion, it was purely electric

    (Our mind and body spontaneously kinetic)

    (Our mind and body spontaneously kinetic)

     

    Bodies combusting, invade me like a Trojan horse

    They've left it up to us, but you're in denial of course

    We trickle, you're dismal for the moment as you

    We fondle, you're horizontal for the moment as you

    They've left it up to us, but you're in denial of course



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  • Bound to You

    by idkadrian on April 30, 2016

    I would've given up my worst to try my absolute best

    I would have gotten ready, if I hadn't been a mess

    I would have done things so differently and I confess

    Maggot brain

    Fickle heart

    Useless worries couldn't keep us apart

    Maggot brain

    Fickle heart

    Useless worries couldn't keep us apart

     

    How I'm such an otherworldly savant so I thought

    You enjoyed the attention so now you're repenting

    You bundled into a clench, I couldn't believe that

    I'm commending him to go, I'm depending on me

    You bundled into a clench, I couldn't believe that

    I'm commending him to go, I'm reliving my fantasy

     

    I would've given up my worst to try my absolute best

    I would have gotten ready, if I hadn't been a mess

    I would have done things so differently and I confess

    Maggot brain

    Fickle heart

    Useless worries couldn't keep us apart

    Maggot brain

    Fickle heart

    Useless worries couldn't keep us apart

     

    Love was revoked

    Well, I hope you choke

    I'd be volatile, if I could

    Yeah, we couldn't cope

    Narrow aisles

    Endless cycles

    Life in piles to do

    Here I am, bound to you


    How I'm such an otherworldly savant so I thought

    You enjoyed the attention so now you're repenting

    You bundled into a clench, I couldn't believe that

    I'm commending him to go, I'm depending on me

    You bundled into a clench, I couldn't believe that

    I'm commending him to go, I'm reliving my fantasy

     

    Love was revoked

    Well, I hope you choke

    I'd be volatile, if I could

    Yeah, we couldn't cope

    Narrow aisles

    Endless cycles

    Life in piles to do

    Here I am, bound to you

     

    Love was revoked

    Well, I hope you choke

    I'd be volatile, if I could

    Yeah, we couldn't cope

    Narrow aisles

    Endless cycles

    Life in piles to do

    Here I am, bound to you



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  • obviously lazily borrowing but i certainly could not distill it any better than this

    by artemisagrotera on April 27, 2016

    i'm not your lover

    i'm not your friend

     

    i am something that you'll never comprehend

     

     

    love u

     

     

     

     

     



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