Recent Journal Entries

  • obviously lazily borrowing but i certainly could not distill it any better than this

    by artemisagrotera on April 27, 2016

    i'm not your lover

    i'm not your friend


    i am something that you'll never comprehend



    love u






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  • Purely Electric

    by idkadrian on April 21, 2016

    Bodies combust, invade me like a Trojan horse

    They've left it up to us, but you're in denial, of course

    We trickle, you're fickle for the moment as you, ugh!

    We fondle, you're horizontal for the moment as you, ugh!

    They've left it up to us, but you're in denial, of course

    Bodies combust, invade me like an old flame, sure


    Here's the deal, we got no view, or a place so eccentric

    Our minds, spontaneously kinetic

    Telepathy through the motions, it was purely electric

    (Our minds, spontaneously kinetic)

    (Our minds, spontaneously kinetic)


    Your version of right, or my version of wrong?

    Trivialize the forces unknown and move on

    Your version of right, or my version of strong?

    Trivialize the forces unknown and move on

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  • why are you mad at me

    by artemisagrotera on April 19, 2016

    once again, i was available

    (for at least a year)

    you did nothing except find yourself a girlfriend

    this is an unfortunate and continuing pattern 

    but don't be mad at me if you do nothing to indicate interest and then my attention drifts away for a second

    because you know where it always returns.


    1 Comment   Read more from artemisagrotera
  • April 13, 2016

    by alterEgo on April 13, 2016

    I don't know why I'm typing here. It's 1.30am and I can't sleep. Too many thoughts ticking away. The coffee I had before I started my shift is preventing me from sleeping, I'm sensitive to coffee after 5pm, but i just take it because I'm a zombie at work. I really don't want to be there. So many depressive thoughts, so much guilt I feel. Guilt that I feel that I am the shy girl, disgust or some sort of jealousy when I see someone getting along so well with other coworkers and is so well liked, but she is so stupid, I feel she talks to me as if I'm stupid. I don't know why I hate the girl, I think I accept this. I accept my hate for her, she hasn't done anything to me, I just hate her for being who she is. I just accept that now. It's not fair at all to her, I am being nice to her, maybe she senses that my feelings aren't true. but it feels nice to admit that. I'm sorry that you are a victim to my hatred, you have done nothing wrong, it's a feeling within me, I've seen it before. it's not a strong hate, I just don't like you at all, but you are so loved by everyone, maybe that's why I hate you.

    But who cares really, I don't care what people think of me, the ones who truly know me are the ones I truly care about. That is all that matters, the people within my bubble, they are all I love, they are all that matter. 

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  • Rainbow's End

    by NomadMonad on April 12, 2016

    We paint your breeding world as queer
    and every man a closet queen.
    Your days like Noah’s now appear…
    our King arrives to crown the scene.

    Oh Father of progressive souls
    whose neo-pagan mercy reigns,
    bring union to fragmented wholes
    as lovers rattle rainbow-chains.

    We’re clubbing with the scribes of sex
    (our fairy-dusted lying press)
    who pay out cash for background checks
    while prying more and praying less.

    The starry heavens twinkle gay
    and rainbows end in gold, you know).
    To see it any other way
    would harsh our high and end the show…

    Your family paradigm descends
    upon the Roman road to hell
    where reproductive reason ends
    in demographic show-and-tell.

    God’s wisdom pleads in vain. What’s life
    when mobs are primed for anarchy –
    assaulting yet again Lot’s wife
    in Sodom’s dead democracy.

    2 Comments   Read more from NomadMonad
  • 4am

    by alterEgo on April 11, 2016

    I just had this awful dream, where my perspective was from a girl who was raped, about to murdered, but then escaped to some hostel where she meets other young people (maybe homeless) who have no where else to go to. The guy who raped her wanders around looking for her, he claims to be her father, and that is she disobedient and has mental problems. He goes around knocking doors looking for her. A few days go by when she hears him at the door, and hides crouched behind the couch begging them not to believe him, and then she tells them he had raped her, and planned to kill her, but she managed to get away. The setting where the rape took place is in the countryside, in an abandoned delapdidated house. When the guy comes round the hostel looking for her, the hostel guys believe her and 3 of their buffest guys start beating up the rapist guy. The rapist guy has a small blade from a switch blade in his hand and uses it against one of the guys on top of him. He gets the blade to slice the guys neck, everyone is shocked, and there is blood everywhere. The rapist guy uses this moment as his chance to escape. Meanwhile people are trying to give medical attention to the guy who had this neck cut. The girl who had been raped is now shaking and crying.


    Viewing this from her perspective was quite horrifying, I truly felt scared for my life, especially that moment trying to run away from him initially. He said something along the lines of "you can run all you want but you won't get far. You're going to die" so I ran away pushing through the debris of the broken house, and debris surrounding the area, running along the grass but keeping close to the road, it was night fortunately. I ended up in a hostel (don't remember how I got there). I make friends at the hostel, but for some reason don't open up to them about the fact that some guy is trying to kill me, perhaps too scared or too shaken. 

    It felt more like watching a movie, than being the actual person since I had little control of my actions. The feeling I had while dreaming this was like watching a Rob Zombie film, extremely unpleasant to watch other people suffering. 

    I was glad to be woken up at this time of 4am, because I didn't want to keep dreaming about that. I was woken by my dad, who is leaving for his 2 week holiday. I'm pretty tired now, just wanted to write about this before I forget. Hopefully I'll dream of something better now.

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  • Hello

    by alterEgo on April 11, 2016

    I'm looking at my pretty lava lamp, talking to my boyfriend. falling deeper into sleep state. sleepy so sleepy. i  shared my journal with someone else i hope i don't regret it. I can only think of customers and my bf's soothing voice. No more suffering. very blissful. my coworkers said' that i look sick. I may be sick in the mind. my dad called my sickness 'lazy sickness'. I'm just tired all the time, I woke up nauseous. it seems to happen daily, im not pregnant, because i am on my period. I don't know what it is, I think it might be the birth control pills. 

    i want to leave work, like how many other people have left. I really should. i dont want to be around love birds, and bitching people. 

    1 Comment   Read more from alterEgo
  • give your entry a sad little poem

    by CleanLaundry on April 09, 2016

    Seaside, 12a.m.

    & slamming the car door closed
    & an ocean roaring in the dark
    & pushing a cut key through the lock
    & a deadbolt turning clockwise
    & stepping through the threshold
    & climbing the carpeted stairs
    & taking off my clothes
    & collapsing into bed
    & there is a deadbolt in my chest
    & there is a lock I cannot see
    & I wish there was an ocean
    roaring inside of me

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  • Hard Cell

    by NomadMonad on April 08, 2016


    Free verse was captured,
    confined to a cell
    by readers unraptured
    in modernist hell.

    And there he did languish
    while chained to the wall
    and desperate in anguish
    gave forth a last call:

    “Listen and read me—
    my muse is the best!
    Applaud and then feed me,
    your starving guest !

    Don’t fall for that beat…
    Please ignore their old line.
    I’m here. I’m effete.
    I’m a modern divine…

    like it in prison
    No, really — I’m free!”
    (But his lock was awaiting
    Your Readership’s key.

    For the moderns all lie,
    as your readership knows;
    Modern poets don’t die—
    they just decompose.)


    An original poem every day of April:   NaPoWriMo2016

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  • Dark Side in Light

    by NomadMonad on April 06, 2016

    Sight up eclipsed cerebral cells,

    let King Selassie spark a blaze.

    Drink of the Truth from lunar wells

    lighting up shadows, as it plays

    Invade the cold abandoned hells

    with transcendental roundelays

    and let reality move on through

    until our testament renew…



    a poem a day for NaPoWriMo2016
    (Ntl. Poetry Writing Month: April)

    No Comments   Read more from NomadMonad
  • A Choice

    by SaintLee on April 04, 2016

    When nothing becomes everything
    and the day matters not
    in sorrow and shadow
    my eyes cease to see

    Taken by everyone
    sold without profit I am
    tossed and forgotten
    dreams no longer come
    worthless and alone

    Life hits hard
    spot on and spit at
    looking back to see
    a desolate nothing
    my achievements in life

    My life of no creation
    no fruit or flower blooms
    years filled for nothing
    still waters becoming shallow
    death waits to bathe

    Forever unsung and never consoled
    my point becomes pointless
    I stare at futures unwanted
    my choice becoming clear
    rewrite the story again

    Apologies to all without
    forgiving of self
    a waste of torrid life
    lies beget suffering in me
    barren seed to sow
    with no one to reap

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  • ever get dizzy lookin at the clouds

    by RosesAtSunset on March 28, 2016

    i tell people i'm off social media because its distracting, but it's mostly because my life feels so dull compared to everyone's vacations and love and achievements. i'm scared someone saw me peeing beside my car today while i watched IT crowd. who wants to hear about that? well, whoever is reading this i guess. all 3 of you. xoxo lots of love.

    is being a stoner degenerate cool? i wouldn't know. i had lunch with my drug dealer at this place that can basically be described as a fancy hooters. he paid and then we went to this park and sat in silence for about 13 minutes until i said i had to go home and study.

    but we both know i didn't study. i just took a nap. not sure if that's going to mess up my weed supply, but i don't care. i don't want to sleep with my drug dealer. and i offered to split the bill. but who am i justifying myself to? we both know he wasn't buying me bruschetta for my health. but i dunno.

    unspoken social contracts aren't binding and i would stop hanging out with my drug dealer if i had more satisfying relationships in my life. i thought about joining the anime club, but that will probably be pretty similar to my attempt at joining the 3ds club. all the people who enjoy my hobbies are usually even stranger than i am. i'm just complaining to avoid accepting that i'm wasting my life away. 

    guitar is going poorly. still stuck on wonderwall and feeling disheartened that it's already 2 months in and i'm not jimi hendrix. i want instant gratification but all i have are irritated finger tips. thinking about buying phosphorus strings, but you can't buy practice and talent. 

    things get better in spring, but i haven't been doing much to make it that way. sometimes i wish i could take a couple of seconds to rearrange my life without the winds of time rushing thru my ears. but i'd probably use those seconds to get high without anyone bothering me.

    what a curse to be denied the things i shouldn't want. 

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  • Rabbits in Dhimmi-land

    by NomadMonad on March 27, 2016

    Rise from your grave. It’s Easter Sunday
    two-thousand sixteen years A.D.
    Save the West with hashtag child’s play
    Post on FaceBook, fancy-free.

    Easter pinks and chick-yellow highlights
    Nestléd eggs and pastel notes
    fail to charm our friends the Ishmaelites
    poised to slit our kuffar throats.

    Love your rabbit; keep on shopping.
    Watch the game and charge your phone.
    Allah’s bunnies won’t stop hopping
    Till they make your land their own.

    No Comments   Read more from NomadMonad
  • Moderation is the Mother of Excess

    by NomadMonad on March 27, 2016

    Hey moderators - 

    kiss my assurance of liberty to express my innermost soul.

    Just sayin LOL ROTFL ☺

    No Comments   Read more from NomadMonad
  • seeking

    by stopusingmyemail on March 25, 2016

    an open mind

    down to earth


    have to be a little nerdy/dorky sum are undercover but can show me

    intellectually stimulating

    sense of humor a must

    sweet and romantic i would love sometimes

    likes to cuddle

    any takers

    i thought someone liked me but i was wrong. thought 3 people but all in my head. 1 is plenty. im pretty synonmous with above but i pipe at times and can be a snot face:P




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  • Chroma: (mixtape)

    by idkadrian on March 22, 2016

    1. Intro

    2. Isla Viscera

    3. Severity

    4. Iconoclast 

    5. March of Madness

    6. Fame With an Expiration

    7. Buenos Aires

    8. Chroma Skit

    9. Chasing Figures

    10. Year of Regretting

    11. Crawl Beaneath

    12. The Jester

    13. Tanlines

    14. Sex Merchant

    15. Easy Come, Easy Go

    16. Familiar Faces

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  • March 20, 2016

    by NomadMonad on March 20, 2016

    Donald quacks. We better duck.
    Tell the Cubans to mute that trumpet
    While we, together, improve our luck
    (or end up ruled by a Socialist Strumpet.)

    The mallard was rebuked by Mitt;
    adversaries began to bray.
    The ducklings murmured: guy's unfit
    to be elected anyway...

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  • Dear Moderators

    by NomadMonad on March 20, 2016

    Why do you decide to delete commentary on songs? 

    That is not very moderate of you.  Are you not offering a space for people to talk about meanings of songs? Duh.

    No Comments   Read more from NomadMonad
  • Ghoulardi: Lovelorn

    by idkadrian on March 16, 2016

    1. Bound to You

    2. Night of the Living Hotel

    3. What We Left Unsaid

    4. Purely Electric

    5. Love in Terraform

    6. Hollow Man

    7. Madly Stricken

    8. Genders

    9. Bedroom Rhetoric

    10. Don't Be Sorry

    11. Undeserving

    12. It Was Nice Knowing None of You

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  • Butitbeganwith

    by RosesAtSunset on March 08, 2016

    I guess you could say we met in a vacuum
    Or in all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world
    Your breath or my breath 
    The bottle, the brine, the brainless 
    Tumbling and tasting and tolerating 
    God I miss you 
    I never figured out which of us was the villain 
    But I'm the one telling a story as old as crime
    It ends with, "you were never mine."

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