by Fallen Leaves on February 26, 2014
I am a bit frightened. I have a life in this city now, my university town, and I'm realizing I don't have a lot of time left here. When my winter semester ends, I will move away and I won't come back. In the fall, I will be attending a bigger, better university in a bigger, better city - that happens to be much farther away from home.
I am sad because now, I've built a life here. I recently got a job that I surely would be able to resume if I came back next fall. I have a manfriend. My roommate and I are two peas in a pod. I know where to go to watch free improv shows, I know where to get my groceries, and I know the coolest place to get some delicious crepes.
Realistically speaking, I could stay here another year, but I don't want to do that. Allow me to outline why I should not stay in this city that I like with the people that I like even more.
1) I want a good education. My current university has a fine-enough reputation as far as Canadian universities go, but it isn't anything near as reputable as the school I'm going to next year. If I do decide to pursue a career in television, I might as well go to a fancier university (or at least a university people have heard of).
2) I want to be adventurous. I don't want to be a boring old tree that plants itself in one spot. Canada is a (surprisingly) fascinating place, and I shouldn't limit myself to my home province and its extremely similar neighbour. I'm an explorer of sorts. My mother is quick to comment on my wanderlust.
3) I don't want to be influenced by relationships again for another enormous decision. I actually would have gone straight to the fancy university from high school, I think, if it weren't for my then-boyfriend. I wanted to go farther and to the more prestigious university, but he wouldn't have been able to afford it. I picked a closer school and he followed. (Now, of course, we have nothing to do with each other. But that's another story.) I would be incredibly frustrated with myself if I stayed back in this city for the boy I'm seeing now, and it didn't work out. I'm only nineteen, for heaven's sakes. I shouldn't be basing big life decisions on relationships yet. I should be wandering freely and figuring things out for myself, not tying myself down. Again.
4) I'm as proud as they come. I've already told people that I'm moving away. I have to live up to that. Probably. Maybe. Perhaps.
In other news, I went home for Reading Week. My fellow came along for the adventure. I have never enjoyed being back at the farm so much before. I didn't even bicker with my mother once.
Jesse disappeared again
Didn't go to Edmonton
Didn't talk to any friends
Like many others who are
Trying to be someone else
Instead of who they really are
Jesse, AR - Said the Whale.
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