But actually, I should be doing my homework. However, I have two orders of business that I would like to address.
1) I have been having a hard time lately and I think that's pretty clear. I would just like to thank the kind human beings who make my days so much better. Whether it's one of you guys commenting something encouraging, or getting a private message out of concern, or my real-life friends... you all rock. One of my friends texted me Sunday afternoon (the day after my drunken venting entry). She was out on the town with me. She simply asked if I was doing okay lately. Another friend dropped by at 11pm to "pick up some stuff" that he forgot in my apartment. He sat down and said, "I've been watching this get worse and worse. I just need to make sure you're okay." Then he took me out for a meal ("Are you hungry? I know you just don't eat sometimes") and we talked for a couple of hours.
I am super blessed to be wrapped with this sort of love and kindness. Sometimes I just want to scream and beat my fists against the floor, and sometimes I want to stare out my window from my bed and see nothing for hours at a time. I have such a fantastic support system. I'm still considering counselling but who knows if I will even need it.
2) To make a long story short, something hilarious happened to me tonight that only my ex-boyfriend (Lance) would fully appreciate (hint: it involves a guy I went out with for a couple of times and a grandiose gesture of romance... I met Lance while on a date with this fellow). I texted Lance and told him the story, and he told me he laughed so hard that he woke up his parents. I was laughing so hard at the whole escapade and Lance's reaction to it that my stomach still hurts. Lance texted back saying, "Stop it, stop it right now, tears are running down my cheeks."
I haven't really talked with Lance like this since we dated. This carefree. This enjoyable. And it makes me miss him a lot, because he and I were peas and motherfucking carrots.
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